I arrived in Sydney a few days short of 30 and was married 10 days later!
Off Topic Feeling Left Behind?
- Thread starter TheCasual
- Start date
I arrived in Sydney a few days short of 30 and was married 10 days later!
Just to echo what other people have said - people are settling down much later in life, with respect to marrying having kids etc. So, worry not about being single. Embrace it and do something memory making. As recent events have demonstrated, we never know just what's around the corner. Travel, change jobs - you're only here once. Make the most of it.
Because its good manners, you missed a question mark off the endWhy thank you
22? What's wrong with you? You've got another 60 years for that. I'm 41 and haven't 'settled down'.
On the other point I couldn't agree more, love travelling on my own and things happen that wouldn't if you were with someone else. Case in point, I went to NYC for 5 nights on my own and inexplicably ended up going on a Bloomingdales staff night out.
Respect for you discussing your mental health. It is a shame many don't feel able. I do feel quite positive that change is happening fairly quickly with this though.
I'd echo what DBT said, don't worry about been left behind. We (me and Mrs A, not me and DBT) also had kids relatively young. We had no money, so did very little during that era. Was envious of mates who were globetrotting and doing all sorts of exciting things, but certainly wouldn't have swapped it. Some of those friends are now parents to young uns, others have chosen not to settle down and continued doing fantastic things. With our kids now relatively independent (and not yet thinking about having their own) and being financial comfortable, we have the freedom to do a bit of travelling now. I'm sure there's no right or wrong way. Friends who followed a different path often say they prefer it that way as they get older, they have the time and patience for their children.
I'd echo what DBT said, don't worry about been left behind. We (me and Mrs A, not me and DBT) also had kids relatively young. We had no money, so did very little during that era. Was envious of mates who were globetrotting and doing all sorts of exciting things, but certainly wouldn't have swapped it. Some of those friends are now parents to young uns, others have chosen not to settle down and continued doing fantastic things. With our kids now relatively independent (and not yet thinking about having their own) and being financial comfortable, we have the freedom to do a bit of travelling now. I'm sure there's no right or wrong way. Friends who followed a different path often say they prefer it that way as they get older, they have the time and patience for their children.
I'm not sure if this is the right place, but anyway. There's a lot of people on here with good experience of life.
I posted on here last summer on a thread about mental health how i'd been suffering from anxiety. I've mange to find away of coping/dealing with it all and I'm genuinely in a good place and life is great.
But one thing is nagging at me though. I feel as though I'm being left behind by my friends. There getting to a point of having kids, settle down etc.
Thinking about it I do have plenty of friends. But they all have responsibilities and I'm single and I'm in the fortunate position of having a bit of disposable income and generally having freedom.
Any advice would be welcome. I know I'll end up with a bit of piss taking
Good post pal. Life is all about different periods of it. Say call it your CV of life. Childhood,single life,married/partners,Children, Children leave home so more time,later years. There is no pattern it just ebbs and flows. we can all remember a year which we would say stands out. As others have said travelling broadens the mind.
Im in the same place as you but in a different way. Seperated for a few years I find my mates are mostly still( and good on em) in relationships so as they should spend their time with family as such. So after reading your post i realised that for different reasons i feel the same. Not that im getting left behind but that I have gone backwards a bit.
3 kids, 1 finishing uni 15 and 13. So money is tighter than ever at the moment but will be fine from next March and onwards. So I have to wait again for a while.
So my mate big thumbs up that you are coping better and times still there for you to find your feet again.
Good luck
I'm genuinely glad that you've got your anxiety under control TC and I hope it stays that way. I believe that it was Arthur Schopenhauer who said something along the lines of the purpose of life is not to be happy but to not be unhappy. Happiness and misery are not equal but opposite. Misery is much, much worse.
If you make the aim of life to avoid unhappiness then you do not need to chase happiness in any of its illusory forms. Supporting City's a good start along the road to this by the way.
When I reflect on the type of stuff that's been posted on this thread, life's a journey and all that gubbins, my thoughts are often drawn to two of this island's greatest poets. The Bard himself and Hull's finest miserablist.
Both wrote rather good stuff about life and aging and that and came to similar conclusions. Whatever you do your life is heading inexorably towards an inevitable ending and not in a good way.
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
What do they think has happened, the old fools,
To make them like this? Do they somehow suppose
It's more grown-up when your mouth hangs open and drools,
And you keep on pissing yourself, and can't remember
Who called this morning?
We need to deal with the inevitably of our condition, but we have a lot of freedom in determining what we do along the way. We are free to create our own destiny.
Three final thoughts from three exceptional lyricists:
In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die?
The future is unwritten.
Love is all you need.
If you make the aim of life to avoid unhappiness then you do not need to chase happiness in any of its illusory forms. Supporting City's a good start along the road to this by the way.
When I reflect on the type of stuff that's been posted on this thread, life's a journey and all that gubbins, my thoughts are often drawn to two of this island's greatest poets. The Bard himself and Hull's finest miserablist.
Both wrote rather good stuff about life and aging and that and came to similar conclusions. Whatever you do your life is heading inexorably towards an inevitable ending and not in a good way.
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
What do they think has happened, the old fools,
To make them like this? Do they somehow suppose
It's more grown-up when your mouth hangs open and drools,
And you keep on pissing yourself, and can't remember
Who called this morning?
We need to deal with the inevitably of our condition, but we have a lot of freedom in determining what we do along the way. We are free to create our own destiny.
Three final thoughts from three exceptional lyricists:
In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die?
The future is unwritten.
Love is all you need.
Qatartiger Cambridgetiger
Well-Known Member
Wow Dills ... Sounds like you are keeping your head up though. Good on ya.
Great thread this though, can't beat a bit of honesty.
Surround yourself with positive people and stay away from negative ****s. Fact.
Always look for positives in things not the negative.
Some poor ****ers really do have it bad.
I saw a poor bloke being pushed in a wheelchair this morning, he had a head/brain injury with a helmet on. Some young girls were walking by him and started laughing at summat. You could just see him thinking they were laughing at him, he shrunk into his seat. So sad. The girls weren't at all.
Heartbreaking.
So what I'm saying is help others if you can, as well as holidays etc. do summat for someone else it will make you feel great.
Always look for positives in things not the negative.
Some poor ****ers really do have it bad.
I saw a poor bloke being pushed in a wheelchair this morning, he had a head/brain injury with a helmet on. Some young girls were walking by him and started laughing at summat. You could just see him thinking they were laughing at him, he shrunk into his seat. So sad. The girls weren't at all.
Heartbreaking.
So what I'm saying is help others if you can, as well as holidays etc. do summat for someone else it will make you feel great.
Well said, Ernie. Life can be a bitch and at times, I have struggled.
TC, sounds like you are currently in a good space ... keep working at it. Best wishes.
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Qatartiger Cambridgetiger
Well-Known Member
I always tried to tell my kids and people I train. Make things happen. Don't let things happen. Worked for me mostly.
Anxiety? I suffer 'panic disorder', which means it's not a temporary condition, it's just something I have to live with. My GP prescribed a type of Prozac a few years ago which did nothing to help. I just carry on carrying on really. The people around me, Mz K, friends and family are the blessings I count and it's fair to say I probably wouldn't be around today if it weren't for them.
Life's good though because I've never really wanted much. I've always been unambitious and liked the simple way of life. Chazz made a very good point about doing some stuff for others, I highly recommend that, it can be very rewarding, make you feel good about yourself.
Stay clean and keep yourself nice x
Life's good though because I've never really wanted much. I've always been unambitious and liked the simple way of life. Chazz made a very good point about doing some stuff for others, I highly recommend that, it can be very rewarding, make you feel good about yourself.
Stay clean and keep yourself nice x
And what you don't know mate is that all your mates settling down are probably thinking - "I wish I had more time and spare cash like TC, he can do what he wants and I've got to..." etc.
As Chazz says do something for other people
It's the other end of the age range, but my Mum has done voluntary work for years, especially since my Dad died and she's been on her own. She's a City of Culture volunteer but does loads of other stuff too
She has an incredible life, has made loads of new friends, done all sorts of things she might not have expected ... and has a far better social life than I do
She is most definitely not 'left behind', in fact I have to make an appointment to see her!
Mine's always telling me off for not keeping in touch enough, she sarcastically texts me her phone number from time to time.
I wouldn't mind, but she spent the first three months of this year in Tenerife and she's going back on Thursday, she's barely ever bloody here.
behave yesen and phone ya Mam.
Travel the world.
People are ****s but the world is amazing.
People are ****s but the world is amazing.