Off Topic Feeling Left Behind?

TheCasual

TheCasual

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May 6, 2011
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I'm not sure if this is the right place, but anyway. There's a lot of people on here with good experience of life.

I posted on here last summer on a thread about mental health how i'd been suffering from anxiety. I've mange to find away of coping/dealing with it all and I'm genuinely in a good place and life is great.

But one thing is nagging at me though. I feel as though I'm being left behind by my friends. There getting to a point of having kids, settle down etc.

Thinking about it I do have plenty of friends. But they all have responsibilities and I'm single and I'm in the fortunate position of having a bit of disposable income and generally having freedom.

Any advice would be welcome. I know I'll end up with a bit of piss taking :emoticon-0102-bigsm
 
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TheCasual said:
I'm not sure if this is the right place, but anyway. There's a lot of people on here with good experience of life.

I posted on here last summer on a thread about mental health how i'd been suffering from anxiety. I've mange to find away of coping/dealing with it all and I'm genuinely in a good place and life is great.

But one thing is nagging at me though. I feel as though I'm being left behind by my friends. There getting to a point of having kids, settle down etc.

Thinking about it do have plenty of friends. But they all have responsibilities and I'm single and I'm in the future position of having a bit of disposable income and generally have freedom.

Any advice would be welcome. I know I'll end up with a bit of piss taking :emoticon-0102-bigsm
Click to expand...
How do you know they don't envy your situation re disposable income and freedom?
Anyway, many of em will be single and skint again soon enough!
 
Depends on your age really? Some get married & have kids early some leave it late! There isn't a right or wrong, I got married at 30 and the kids came along a few years later! But I've got friends who have grandchildren! Go with the flow mate? Glad to hear your doing ok though :emoticon-0148-yes:
 
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As suggested by Newland go travelling.


Travelone.co.uk

explore.co.uk
or
rivieratravel.co.uk

They all do singles holiday but you meet up with other singles so it ends up as if you are part of a group.

Good luck and let us know how you got on<cheers>
 
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I don't envy them for settling down or anything. I love spending time with them, but they just don't have as much spare time or cash as me.

I'm 29, so not really young, but not really old.
 
TheCasual said:
I don't envy them for settling down or anything. I love spending time with them, but they just don't have as much spare time or cash as me.

I'm 29, so not really young, but not really old.
Click to expand...

29?

All my mates (and myself I'll admit) are doing this settling down thing at 22/23.



My recommendation? Go travelling.

Whilst my travels with the lass are always fantastic, going and exploring with no worries is just great. When I went to Tokyo alone a few years ago I had the time of my life. Of couse, you don't have to go to the other side of the World, but just getting away no matter where can do wonders.
 
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TheCasual said:
I'm not sure if this is the right place, but anyway. There's a lot of people on here with good experience of life.

I posted on here last summer on a thread about mental health how i'd been suffering from anxiety. I've mange to find away of coping/dealing with it all and I'm genuinely in a good place and life is great.

But one thing is nagging at me though. I feel as though I'm being left behind by my friends. There getting to a point of having kids, settle down etc.

Thinking about it I do have plenty of friends. But they all have responsibilities and I'm single and I'm in the fortunate position of having a bit of disposable income and generally having freedom.

Any advice would be welcome. I know I'll end up with a bit of piss taking :emoticon-0102-bigsm
Click to expand...
Now we've established you're annoyingly young (or rather the same age that lots of us would like to be / still think we are) then I'll give you my tenpenneth, for what's it's worth

Firstly the fact you've acknowledged your mental health issues and have been happy to discuss them is a massive plus in my book. Fair play to you, and if other men (particularly) of any age did that would be a good thing

You might think you've been left behind but in whatever group of friends you have there will always be a first to settle down and a last to settle down (unless there is a weird 7 brides for 7 brothers thing going on...it's a musical...ask some sad old bugger ;) )
I started very young and had a first child at 18. There was certainly times that I was thinking I'd like to be doing what my footloose friends were for a while. Then mine grew up and they started having theirs, all of a sudden I have more spare time and cash than them. Now some have young kids and I'm waiting to become a grandad. Point is we're all still friends. There will always be a natural flow as to life positions but by and large everyone will end up similar in the end (much older than 29!)

As for now there are plenty of other ways to do stuff outside that group of friends without spoiling anything there. Travel being a great example
I started snowboarding late in life, and go with a mate the same age, but the other two who always come away (sometimes others do too) are much younger (28 and early 30's) and had previously been solo boarders for similar reasons as yourself. One used to just go away alone and always made friends while there, one hadn't and had been looking for a group to go away with when we suggested he join us. Totally different ages, totally different areas and marital status and it works great (apart from the fact that the little ****ers can't keep up with the grown ups in the bars apres)

So start snowboarding! (actually the moral of the story might have been something else, but I forget...I'm old)

Don't lose track of your mates, they'll enjoy living a single life vicariously through you now, and always remember at some point you might be settling down when they're suddenly becoming free of kids and having more cash...it's just how it is

Great you're in a good place...enjoy it
 
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dennisboothstash said:
Now we've established you're annoyingly young (or rather the same age that lots of us would like to be / still think we are) then I'll give you my tenpenneth, for what's it's worth

Firstly the fact you've acknowledged your mental health issues and have been happy to discuss them is a massive plus in my book. Fair play to you, and if other men (particularly) of any age did that would be a good thing

You might think you've been left behind but in whatever group of friends you have there will always be a first to settle down and a last to settle down (unless there is a weird 7 brides for 7 brothers thing going on...it's a musical...ask some sad old bugger ;) )
I started very young and had a first child at 18. There was certainly times that I was thinking I'd like to be doing what my footloose friends were for a while. Then mine grew up and they started having theirs, all of a sudden I have more spare time and cash than them. Now some have young kids and I'm waiting to become a grandad. Point is we're all still friends. There will always be a natural flow as to life positions but by and large everyone will end up similar in the end (much older than 29!)

As for now there are plenty of other ways to do stuff outside that group of friends without spoiling anything there. Travel being a great example
I started snowboarding late in life, and go with a mate the same age, but the other two who always come away (sometimes others do too) are much younger (28 and early 30's) and had previously been solo boarders for similar reasons as yourself. One used to just go away alone and always made friends while there, one hadn't and had been looking for a group to go away with when we suggested he join us. Totally different ages, totally different areas and marital status and it works great (apart from the fact that the little ****ers can't keep up with the grown ups in the bars apres)

So start snowboarding! (actually the moral of the story might have been something else, but I forget...I'm old)

Don't lose track of your mates, they'll enjoy living a single life vicariously through you now, and always remember at some point you might be settling down when they're suddenly becoming free of kids and having more cash...it's just how it is

Great you're in a good place...enjoy it
Click to expand...

Great post Dennis
 
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Great stuff Casual, well done for getting though the **** and stuff. Like many have said travel even try and find a job abroad for a couple of years or so.it is amazing how it can change your outlook on life. I've been out here over 5 years now and I was over 50 when I did it. Never look back fella. My only downside is my family kids and wife are still in the UK which is very tough at times. If you are single the world is your oyster. Hope you don't mind the advice. Again well done and hats off to ya.
 
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