Election 2024

Ive got a worse one than that but I really can't say

 

Like I said mad times. She just done them loud shouts and groans. We thought nowt of it though. She just put her back to bed and we’d carry on. Used to get a taxi home about 4 in the morning a couple hours before the change over

 

You can like. Go on

 

Yeah, you definitely can

dont be a pu55y

 

That's hilarious man, when she slammed that old lady back to bed and just carried on shagging did you think "i love this woman"

 

I’d already fell for her by that point. She was sound. Her old man was old school and when he found out about us, he kept her in her bedroom and rang into work sick for her for about a week. Threatened to send her to India the lot. We broke up then. Still met up on and off for a couple year. She even stopped at mine one night when she was engaged and not long before the wedding. If it wasn’t for her Dad, we’d still be together now. Or in jail

Away from daft stuff like that we had a great time. Used to go out all the time around the toon. It was class. Shame it ended the way it did.

 

Okay so me and the current Mrs was out raving when we 1st got together one summer evening and ended up back at a random house party til well gone Dawn, decided to **** off back to the flat musta been around 10am on a hot Sunday morning.

I'm high as ball bags and horny af so I'm Tryna shag her on the bus and all kinds we get off go to the flat and I've only gone and fuking lost my keys and had to call my flatmate for his.

Turns out he's at work but will zip back around lunchtime to let me in.

Obviously this is ****, we've got like an hour and a half to waste and we've already had enough so thought the best option was to go grab some drink and sit in the park for a bit as it was a hot morning

Bout half hour into this I need a piss and she decides to walk over with me to the club house thing in the middle of the park, some changing rooms and toilets and a kiosk **** like that.

So as we're walking round the building I try one of the changing room doors and it's open so I drag her in and check no ones about.... All good toilet and changing room empty and obviously she drops em and I start bangin her.

Bout 16 thrusts in.. and some rugby coach walks in another door that I did not see before and has about 28 5/7 years olds behind him.
He sees my arse and then swiftly stops turns around shutting the door behind him saying "okay kids this ones busy" .

 

Yewtree alert

 

I’ll tell another one.

My first ever time I took an ecstasy tablet, I got stuck into this spotty scabby bird. She had toilet problems and had to wear what she said were pads. They were nappies.

Anyway, I banged it all night telling her I’d love her and everything. Early next morning and the pills were wearing off I couldn’t believe what I’d done. Literally ran out the house and all the way home. Straight in the shower scrubbing myself for a good hour and even got upset at one point

 

Realising nappies played a big part in my early days of having sex. Never thought about that before.

 

Anyway, I’m voting Starmer.

 

I'm off to bed


Nite lads

 

Ffs

 

Am in a cafe for lunch break...gotta cold....just snotted coffee outta my nose reading this

Only on here can an election thread become a confessions of a football fan thread

 

I'd come here to post about the over 50's vote, but after reading all the above, think I'll not bother now.

 

Still in the cafe looking like I'm having a break down...tears and coffee everywhere ffs

 

It was a schools' rugby competition and I still haven't got over that.

 

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Ed Conway

@EdConwaySkyNews The International Monetary Fund has said
@Jeremy_Hunt
should NOT cut taxes any time soon. In what will be seen as a bombshell intervention ahead of this year’s election, the IMF said its “staff advises against further tax cuts.” More on
@skynews
soon…

 

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-68266447

Yanks are thick as golden syrup man. Do they think nations talk like this? That a countries leader turns around and says:

"Ey yo, Donald T, dya reckon if we don't er, pay you, you'll still stop Russia?"

Who speaks like this?

This entire thing never happened, Trump has never ever heard a nation say this, nor has he ever threatened this. Its to rile up rednecks who can't stand loans and ****.