Thanks f**k I'm not on my own with this Of course I believe people like him should talk about things but to the club doctor, the manager, his own GP, his wonderful family, his rehab people, etc etc etc ... ... anyone except the media! Paul Gascoigne is always excused his behaviour by people who say he has serious mental health issues ... has he, what? Perhaps he's just a typical bloke who likes a laugh and a drink but lacks the self control to moderate his behaviour. Plus he has limitless funds, too much time on his hands and the public sympathy/admiration which eggs him on. I can't see any good coming from this Dele interview tbh, least of all for him. He's virtually said his form was down to drink, pill addiction, etc, for which he's had rehab and is better. If his form is still poor he's just massively increased the pressure on himself.
I think him being molested by his mums friend who was always around, implies it wasn't just once. To get from that to being one of the best young players in the country at the time is a lot and its hardly surprising it all got a bit much and he became an addict. I agree with you to a certain extent I don't want to hear about politics etc... from anyone to be honest never mind sportsmen. But to hear him say he had past trauma that he hasn't dealt with that caused him difficult times is saying to others seek help (might not help loads but I think footballers with past trauma may take note). He said at the start maybe it was too early for him to.do the interview but the media was on to his team saying they knew he had been to rehab etc.. so he wanted to tell his way this time.
Already someone has come out and said that sleeping pills are a big problem in football. I’m sure there are loads of things that people do on the sly to cope with stress, trauma and the like. Things that in the long run are self defeating. So if Deli has brought things into the open that can only help people with similar issues so well done him. I really hope he can now have a few good years showing his huge talent.
I get what Smug says that he wants to watch and be entertained. The problem with it all is that people around the entertainers are not always looking after them or helping them but are placing increasing pressures on them. Add to that the fact we have a generation of people who can not seperate fiction from reality and live in cloud cuckoo land half the time. We all have opinions on footballers but our opinions should really be based on skill and ability not on how much money they earn. Being rich does not mean being happy and can come with a whole new set of problems. And by the way the rates of suicide around the world do not change that much depending on your earnings. On the whole if people have problems or issues then they should get help but when you have to talk about them on national TV or podcasts because some muck raking journalist wants to make a name for themselves by tearing somebody else down just to sell a story it makes for a sad world. Yes we want news and yes it should be relevant but Dele has been in rehab for himself for fucus sake it's not Watergate. If journalist spent as much time and effort into looking at real social issues and corrupt councils as they do chasing pop stars and footballers maybe our country would be in a better state
Good post mate. Sorry to disagree on something, I don't mean to be argumentative, but the media seem to be taking the blame for everything at the moment. I doubt anyone would really make a name for himself by reporting that Dele has had a spell in rehab, he's not exactly big news.
To be fair I was not really just talking about Dele but more about journalism in general and the way they seem to be trying anything to sensationalise a story even if it's not that interesting or relevant but will quite happily overlook or skip past more important issues that have not been fully resolved like the wasting of tax payers money on ppe during covid or the fact that the country are now trying to take control of us by ushering us toward a cashless society among other things but they are quite happy to report who is in rehab or who is cheating on their partners or paying for pictures on dating sites. I tend to find it a bit tasteless at times but I do understand that these people either by luck or talent have ended up in the public eye, and so are under some scrutiny the problem we have as a society is we expect them to live up to the ideals we think they should stand for when in effect they may well be just as damaged as the rest of us. Just famous and richer
You find it surprising that the lad who was molested by a family friend at 6 (even just once but I suspect it was ongoing), selling drugs by 8, adopted by 11 and professional footballer at 16 had mental health and addiction problems in later life? He dealt with a lot before he was 20. You can't see why someone might struggle with that?
He says he was adopted by the most wonderful people aged twelve, after which his life was perfect. He loved his life, was at the top of his game but, because Mourinho dropped him he became an alcoholic drug addict who couldn't play football. Yes I'm surprised.
Was he not an addiction before then. I didn't think he made it clear when it started. Adopted by a wonderful family at 12 doesn't remove the past trauma. We don't know the extent of the abuse but I'd imagine it didn't go away because he was adopted, became a footballer or played for England. What is true is that he is probably someone who struggles to deal with failure/rejection and probably used drugs at a young age anyway. When he was ended sleeping pills by a club doctor he got addicted. Did his form not dip because he was using pills anytime he wasn't playing, so he got dropped by Jose. He to be fair to him didn't blame any manager or club or anything within the clubs he claimed himself and how he dealt with his own issues.
I'm sympathetic, to a degree mate, but there comes a point where all the excuses become the entire story and there's no self control or responsibility. Was he raped at six year old, did someone make him smoke at seven, did the club doctors drug him up, did he become an alcoholic because he was forced to by team mates? I'm always sympathetic to people but there comes a point when you have to ask if they take any share of the responsibility ... ... I was brought up in the abject poverty of a Durham pit village with four kids in a two bed unheated hovel, had an alcoholic Dad and was fostered out. I could go on. But shyte happens and you have to accept that life isn't always fair. We just accepted life wasn't perfect, took the blows and cracked on.
I was no different mate14 when I left home and hitch hiked across the country on lorries to the Lake District to find a job. That’s why I can’t find much sympathy for people who can’t find work because they don’t want to leave Sunderland or their mam and dad.
I bear no malice towards the lad and am totally prepared to accept I'm 100% wrong if I am. But I reserve the right to retain a little cynicism about his interview. As a Christian I'd love to believe he's sacrificing his privacy specifically to help other sportsmen addicted to sleeping pills, alcohol or whatever. But I can't help feeling he's pushing all of the blame onto his parents, his peers, his clubs, his managers, doctors, etc. If I'm wrong I'm wrong ... ... but I can always blame my drunken Dad, my foster parents, my teachers, etc etc etc. I'm sure everyone will sympathise and tell me how brave I've been in speaking out.
I think the thing for me is, Dele had it all. He had a lifestyle most people probably dreamed of and as much money as you could want for so he never had to just get on with it as the majority of us would. It shows a side of people that we’d never think about because we’re all normally too busy thinking “what the **** problems can he have he’s a millionaire from kicking a ball.” Past trauma can obviously linger and cause problems throughout people’s lives and some people deal with it better than others I guess. Some people are emotionally unattached, others drink/take drugs to forget etc. He does need to take responsibility though. I drink most nights since having kids and a bad injury stopped me going to the gym, that’s not the kids or my legs responsibility it’s for me to sort out I can definitely relate to the sleepers though - I went through a phase of take sleeping tablets every night for 4/5 months because I was struggling to sleep and they obviously fixed that. But I felt like absolute ****e the next day I was poleaxed and getting out of bed for work hours later than I was meant to start but had the luxury of working from home so i could wing it. I was stuck in a cycle of not being able to get to sleep or knocking myself out and being ****ed the next day but eventually I had to bite the bullet and call them a day. I won’t NEVER take them again, I was quite ill a few weeks ago so had them a few nights on the weekend to give me a good nights rest whilst I knew I didn’t have work the next day but I hadn’t taken them for 8 months beforehand.
Excellent post mate, really makes me think. I'm currently coming to terms with the horrible realisation that my wonderful wife hasn't just become a little forgetful ... she's losing her mind to the point I didn't dare go to Berwick and leave her alone for the day. But so what, my Dad was a coalface hewer working up to his waist in water and died young of pit lung ... ... my life's a f**king doddle in comparison
My parents were brilliant, I just left school on the Friday and was in the Lakes by Wednesday, one of the only things I regretted when I was older, is just leaving. Now I look back I wonder how upset and worried they were, never entered my head.
I’m obviously a bit younger and times have changed so much we don’t know we’re born now! Most of us live sheltered lives compared to just 30/40 years ago. Life’s a strange one though mate and if I’m honest I was really naive about grief until I met my partner because my family are so young I’ve never really experienced it. Missus lost her Mam when she was 22. We’ve 2 little girls now who’ll never meet her, eldest is 3 so she’s old enough to ask questions about her and my partner still struggles at times even now 7 years after losing her. Really opened my eyes and made me realise just how easy I’ve had life so far.
Without having an argument or meaning to be rude to you mate. You come from a generation where you get on with it **** adversity. You don't bitch and moan etc... But it can blind you to some things aswell. I don't think Dele blames anyone nor does he really accept any responsibility he just tells us the stuff that has happened. I get the impression he treat it as a therapy session. I agree he wasn't ready but I don't think he is using any excuse, where you see him talking about his childhood etc... as an excuse (just difference in generation imo) I don't really talk about my feelings and my other half suffers with mental health and at times I'm far from sympathetic as I am a "could be worse at least we are alive" type of bloke myself. But I've learnt to be a bit different through her, a little bit not enough at times I'm sure she would tell you . All that interview has highlighted to me is yes you can be rich and have a successful career that many would envy but if other things are wrong in your life it can still go wrong. P.s sorry to hear about your wife.
You can argue all you like mate, I don't have a problem with it. I only have a problem with people when they argue, feel they've lost the argument so start getting personal with me. I'm only suspicious of Dele, not saying he's blagging at this stage ... ... time will tell. I'm I turn out to be wrong I'll apologise.
