Burns night.

I went as a battery. They charged me

 

I went as a loch. They Fyned me

 

I went as myself - they told me I wasn't invited

 

I woke up in hospital after I set myself on fire.

The Doctor said "Wee cowering timorous Beastie".

"Where am I"? I asked

"The Burns Unit" he said.

 

I went as a ghost but they saw right through me.

 

I went as myself and they saw my eyes and teeth and that's it.

 

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a set of Jump leads once.

The host said "You'd better not start anything"

 

I went as a film director and got knocked back.

'Do you want me to make a scene?' I bellowed furiously.

 

I went as 2 men with a football standing in a big white circle waiting for the ref to blow his whistle

the bouncer said it was all kicking off inside

 

We should have our own show - The Comedians!!