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Match Day Thread Bournemouth v Newcastle

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Sep 19, 2025 at 6:51 AM.

  1. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    But, his hands were on your shoulders?
    <confused>
     
    #61
  2. JesusChrist Allmighty

    JesusChrist Allmighty Well-Known Member

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    Nah I had to lie on my side and put my knees up...it was a bit like taking a dump but without the satisfaction.
     
    #62
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  3. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    Hope the results were all OK mate.
     
    #63
  4. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    And I'm not sure how you normally take your dumps, but I find sitting on a toilet is less messy.
    <cheers>
     
    #64
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  5. JesusChrist Allmighty

    JesusChrist Allmighty Well-Known Member

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    Was a routine thing because of my age and family history. It was fine.
     
    #65
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  6. JesusChrist Allmighty

    JesusChrist Allmighty Well-Known Member

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    On the way out the feeling resembles the feeling of a plop.
     
    #66
  7. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>....I've had a couple of " inspections " over the years and what comes out your arse after drinking pints of the laxative they give you the night before couldn't be described as a dump.
     
    #67
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  8. G4rdToonArmy

    G4rdToonArmy Well-Known Member

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    Just humming rule Britannia with your eyes wide closed! :emoticon-0140-rofl:
     
    #68
  9. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    <yikes>
     
    #69
  10. JesusChrist Allmighty

    JesusChrist Allmighty Well-Known Member

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    Mine was just described as a digital exam.
     
    #70
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  11. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    :emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #71
  12. JesusChrist Allmighty

    JesusChrist Allmighty Well-Known Member

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    I just pulled a funny face and looked anguished I think.. Then after that I lost respect for the doctor.
     
    #72
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  13. Darren Peacock’s Ponytail

    Darren Peacock’s Ponytail Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #73
  14. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    Nice try Jim, but nobody puts Obi off his breakfast. Well, 2nd breakfast now, it's 10am.
     
    #74
  15. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    I could actually sh!t through the eye of a needle by the time I'd finished the stuff.
     
    #75
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  16. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    I think it's obvious that our shortage of wins so far this season is purely down to the distinct lack of hat eating threats. This tactic served us well for the previous 3 seasons. And without these threats, we've simply not been getting the results.

    I appreciate it might have been costing a lot for @Mick O'Toon and @JokeInEre to keep buying new hats, but I'm happy to set up a fundraiser if it gets us back to winning ways.
    <cheers>
     
    #76
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  17. magpie290761

    magpie290761 Well-Known Member

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    We have a good squad but people will still whine when we use it
     
    #77
  18. Gangsta Ginola

    Gangsta Ginola Well-Known Member

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    Urgh.

    We have moved on mate.
     
    #78
  19. magpie290761

    magpie290761 Well-Known Member

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    Hardly moved on, the whining was very apparent in er our last game.
     
    #79
  20. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    Well, I tried to divert the conversation...
    <laugh>
     
    #80

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