And you've got the nerve to badmouth my efforts!
<****ing coat>
You taught me everything I know Oh Master
Best/Worst joke
- Thread starter Resurgam
- Start date
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You taught me everything I know Oh Master
I went round MC Hammer's house last week. Nice place but I didn't enjoy myself, he wouldn't let me touch anything
An Ipswich fan wrote BNAG on this board yesterday. I told him "you can't say that.....
......its BANG out of order!"
......its BANG out of order!"
People say that rap music doesn't influence behaviour but the other day I was trying to push a nail in my wall when I decided to stop. It was hammertime!
I lost a boy called Simon who I was babysitting for. When his mum came home she asked, "Where's Si gone?"
"Vietnam," I said, tongue in cheek.
I realise now that there is a time and place for geography puns.
"Vietnam," I said, tongue in cheek.
I realise now that there is a time and place for geography puns.
What`s the difference between a woman and a computer?You only need to punch the information into a computer once
Here's a reality joke.
I caught the train on Friday evening from Redruth in Cornwall to Winchester in Hampshire and it was nearly three pounds cheaper to get a return than the single I asked for.
I caught the train on Friday evening from Redruth in Cornwall to Winchester in Hampshire and it was nearly three pounds cheaper to get a return than the single I asked for.
There was a young man from Bombay
Who made a **** out of clay
The heat from his prick
Turned the **** into brick
And chafed all his foreskin away
Who made a **** out of clay
The heat from his prick
Turned the **** into brick
And chafed all his foreskin away
some cracking ones on here.
for bad there is...
2 goldfish in a tank - one says to the other 'how do you drive this bloody thing'
and for bad taste there is
Our new puppy's been rolling around in its own ****.
That's what I'm telling the wife anyway. Easier to explain than the fact that I ran out of toilet paper.
for bad there is...
2 goldfish in a tank - one says to the other 'how do you drive this bloody thing'
and for bad taste there is
Our new puppy's been rolling around in its own ****.
That's what I'm telling the wife anyway. Easier to explain than the fact that I ran out of toilet paper.
You call that bad tractorbhoy?????
These are bad.....
Q) What do you call a pig with 3 eyes?
A) Piiig
Q) What's brown and lies under a piano stool?
A) Beethoven's last movement
Q) What's red and sits in a tree?
A) A Sanitary owl
<gets coat>
These are bad.....
Q) What do you call a pig with 3 eyes?
A) Piiig
Q) What's brown and lies under a piano stool?
A) Beethoven's last movement
Q) What's red and sits in a tree?
A) A Sanitary owl
<gets coat>
Land lord is about to lock up after a busy night, when there's a knock on the door.
The land lord opens the door to find a tramp standing there " please guvnor could i have a tooth pick"
The land lord wondering why, gives him a tooth pick & he's off on his way.
Five mins later the door goes again, & its another tramp, who also asks for a tooth pick, once again he hands him one & the tramp walks off.
Then five mins later the door goes again, the land lord opens the door to another tramp, who asks him for a straw.
Wondering why this tramp wants a straw rather than a tooth pick, he asks why?
The tramp replies "oh some-ones been sick in your car park & all the best bits are gone !
The land lord opens the door to find a tramp standing there " please guvnor could i have a tooth pick"
The land lord wondering why, gives him a tooth pick & he's off on his way.
Five mins later the door goes again, & its another tramp, who also asks for a tooth pick, once again he hands him one & the tramp walks off.
Then five mins later the door goes again, the land lord opens the door to another tramp, who asks him for a straw.
Wondering why this tramp wants a straw rather than a tooth pick, he asks why?
The tramp replies "oh some-ones been sick in your car park & all the best bits are gone !
The missus said I'm fed up with you talking behind my back and pushing me around.I said shut up you silly bitch,your in a ****ing wheelchair!
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Bradford killing anyone who is English.
Police expect the body count may be as high as 5.
Two muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier,
Police think this may be the start of Ram-A-Dam.
Police expect the body count may be as high as 5.
Two muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier,
Police think this may be the start of Ram-A-Dam.