Bad Joke Thread - Volume 2
- Thread starter Resurgam
- Start date
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Jesus was supposed to be a very wise man, though I'm not so sure myself. I mean, I know I certainly wouldn't trust a bloke called Judas - would you?
That's ok Sid. I liked that one.
I'm going to tell my local vicar that one.
He's schizoprenic. You should see his alter ego......
I'm going to tell my local vicar that one.
He's schizoprenic. You should see his alter ego......
On my way to work this morning I was stopped in a police 'spot check!'
Apparently I've got two pimples and a boil!
Apparently I've got two pimples and a boil!
On my way to work this morning I was stopped in a police 'spot check!'
Apparently I've got two pimples and a boil!
There's nothing you can really say to that, is there skipper?
Another Tommy Cooper classic:
A man walks into the doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."
A man walks into the doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."
My favourite Tommy Cooper Joke....
I went to the doctors the other day with a sore throat. He told me to open my mouth.
"A little raw" he said, so I went "Rr"
The man was a genius.
I went to the doctors the other day with a sore throat. He told me to open my mouth.
"A little raw" he said, so I went "Rr"
The man was a genius.
Is that a genuine picture?
Sure is:
The location is Saint James’ in the City, an Episcopal Church in Los Angeles, California. They are located at*3903 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010 and they have a website???????
ILD OTBC
Sure is:
The location is Saint James’ in the City, an Episcopal Church in Los Angeles, California. They are located at*3903 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010 and they have a website???????
ILD OTBC
Well, I suppose the Americans like to think they have a 'head' start over the rest of us!
Well, I suppose the Americans like to think they have a 'head' start over the rest of us!
Episcopal Church; It's a job to say with a mouthful!
ILD OTBC
A lady golfer ran into the clubhouse screaming,
"HELP, HELP! I've been stung by a bee and I'm allergic."
The golf pro responded, "Whereabouts?"
The lady answered, "Between the first and second hole!"
The pro shook his head and tutted, "Then your stance is too wide."
"HELP, HELP! I've been stung by a bee and I'm allergic."
The golf pro responded, "Whereabouts?"
The lady answered, "Between the first and second hole!"
The pro shook his head and tutted, "Then your stance is too wide."
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man," said his partner, "you don't stand a snowball in hells chance of hitting her from here!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man," said his partner, "you don't stand a snowball in hells chance of hitting her from here!"
Cinderella sat by the fire and started to cry, "Now whats up said the fairy godmother, I've given you a coach, 6 horses, a new dress and glass slippers".
Sad cinders said "I've just started my period""
"No problem my dear, pass me that Marrow and I'll change it into Tampax, but for F..K's sake be back before midnight".
Sad cinders said "I've just started my period""
"No problem my dear, pass me that Marrow and I'll change it into Tampax, but for F..K's sake be back before midnight".