Bad Joke Thread - Volume 2

And you are the leading contributor.

 

hahaha

 

Shrove Tuesday - a day for all tossers

 

Why do the French eat snails?


Because they don't like fast food.

 

Old ones are the best

 

Have you heard? Scientist have found a new way of splitting the atom!


Pop it in the post marked fragile

(stolen from the Two Ronnies)

 

And accuse me of using the old ones

 

I'm a geologist, time is relative

 

Time is an irrelevant concept that only exists in the 4th dimension, so someone famous once said!
Actually it might have been me!

 

Speaking of time, I have to go visit my Chinese dentist at two thirty.

 

You're famous?

 

Oh Lordy we are digging out the old ones now!

 

Of course, aren’t you?

 

Someone broke into my local Chemists last night, stole everything apart from condoms and hair gel, police said they’re looking for a bald catholic!

 

I have a friend who used to live in North Korea and I once asked him what it was like to live under such an oppressive regime. He said he couldn't complain.

 

I was sitting in traffic earlier today……got ran over twice!