Bad Joke Thread - Volume 2
- Thread starter Resurgam
- Start date
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Subject: car buying the senior way
A retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they had been interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter-top.
The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the
$95,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for
$75,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model."
The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and reached for a large glass of water. "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price. See you later Dad,
Once again.... don't mess with seniors!
A retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they had been interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter-top.
The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the
$95,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for
$75,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model."
The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and reached for a large glass of water. "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price. See you later Dad,
Once again.... don't mess with seniors!
Police forces are on a recruitment drive to find more Women Police Officers.
Apparently, the reason there are so few women in the Police force is they just can't seem to grasp the concept of "The right to remain silent!"
Apparently, the reason there are so few women in the Police force is they just can't seem to grasp the concept of "The right to remain silent!"
Be careful people, there are a lot of scams on the internet.
For £19.99 I can show you how to avoid them.......
For £19.99 I can show you how to avoid them.......
Women are very strange creatures. They love lingerie and they love car boot sales.
Yet when I buy my wife some lingerie from the car boot sale for her birthday I suddenly turn into a useless, thoughtless bastard.
Yet when I buy my wife some lingerie from the car boot sale for her birthday I suddenly turn into a useless, thoughtless bastard.
George wakes up in hospital after a serious operation.
"I have good news and bad news," says the doctor.
"The good news is that we managed to save your testicles."
"Thank God," says George.
"And what"s the bad news?"
The doctor replies, "they"re in a bag under your pillow."
"I have good news and bad news," says the doctor.
"The good news is that we managed to save your testicles."
"Thank God," says George.
"And what"s the bad news?"
The doctor replies, "they"re in a bag under your pillow."
Annoy SpecSavers staff by wandering up to their counter squinting your eyes whilst looking up behind them.
When they ask if they can help you say, "Big Mac meal please!"
When they ask if they can help you say, "Big Mac meal please!"
I felt a bit fed up today so to cheer myself up I watched my wedding video backwards.
I love the end bit where I take my ring off, go back down the aisle , jump in the car and f*ck off.
I love the end bit where I take my ring off, go back down the aisle , jump in the car and f*ck off.
Be careful, there's a gangster going around pulling up the back of peoples pants, "I think his name is Wedgie Kray."
I asked my boss, "What do you want me to do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap?"
He replied, "Just pop it in the corner."
4 f*cking hours it took me!
He replied, "Just pop it in the corner."
4 f*cking hours it took me!
My blonde wife and I got into an argument because I accused her of being stupid.
Eventually she jumped up out of her chair and yelled, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't walk out that door!"
I replied, "The plane hasn't landed yet."
Eventually she jumped up out of her chair and yelled, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't walk out that door!"
I replied, "The plane hasn't landed yet."
It was in the news the otherday that Alexis Sanchez is unsure over his Arsenal future and has refused to rule out a move to Bayern Munich.
Today, fire crews were spotted at his country mansion tackling a blaze.
Police suspect Arsene.
Today, fire crews were spotted at his country mansion tackling a blaze.
Police suspect Arsene.
Conservatives 319 seats,
Labour 261 seats,
SNP 34 seats,
Lib Dems 12 seats,
UKIP 0 seats,
Manchester City 20,000 empty seats.
Labour 261 seats,
SNP 34 seats,
Lib Dems 12 seats,
UKIP 0 seats,
Manchester City 20,000 empty seats.
"Can you get some bleach and some washing powder whilst you're out?" My wife asked.
"Can you not wait until you've opened your birthday presents?" I replied.
"Can you not wait until you've opened your birthday presents?" I replied.