Not so much a bad joke, as a hilarious hoot. Speakers on and count how many times you hear the word "scheisse" Trust me, it's worth a watch http://www.youtube.com/embed/9wm-Ge8LL7o?rel=0
This was written by a black gentleman in Texas and is so funny. What a great sense of humour and creative thinking!!! When U Black, U Black When I was born, I was BLACK, When I grew up, I was BLACK, When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK, When I got cold, I was BLACK, When I was scared, I was BLACK, When I was sick, I was BLACK, And when I die, I'll still be BLACK. NOW, You 'white' folks...... When you're born, you're PINK, When you grow-up, you're WHITE, When you go in the sun, you get RED, When you're cold, you turn BLUE, When you're scared, you're YELLOW, When you get sick, you're GREEN When you bruise, you turn PURPLE, And when you die, you look GREY. So why y'all be callin' us COLORED Folks????
Jimmy Saville always claimed to be tee-total but when I met him his breath smelled like he'd had a few tots. Staff at Stoke Mandeville hospital have banned Santa Claus from the children's ward this year.` Letting a man in with white hair and a full sack was thought inappropriate.
A Bear went to the Job Centre looking for work, they said you’re in luck we’ve just got a vacancy on a building site, can you start in the morning. Sure can said the bear and duly arrived the next morning. The foreman gave him a pickaxe and showed him where to get started. At 10 O’clock everyone stopped work for a tea break, the bear went back to work after his tea only to find his pickaxe was gone, so he went off to the onsite store and got another one. At 12 O’clock everyone stopped for dinner, after his sandwiches the bear went back to work only to find his new pickaxe was gone. He was just walking off to the store to get another one when the foreman called him over and said, where the hell are you going! So the bear explained what had been happening to his pickaxes, the foreman said oh bugger, I should have remembered....today’s the day the teddy bears have their picks nicked!
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends Two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, So for his birthday she takes him to a local Strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Vern! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to This club before. "Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ." When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern If he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable And says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her Arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all Over him and says... "Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Vern's wife, now furious, Grabs her purse and Storms out of the club. Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in Beside her. Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper Must have mistaken him for someone else, But his wife is having none of it She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, Calling him every 4 letter word in the book.. The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.'
Woman went into the chemist and asked for some cyanide. " Why do you need Cyanide" asked the chemist. "I want to kill my husband" she said. "Well I'm sorry but i cant let you have it, I could get struck off and you could face life in prison" The woman opens her bag and shows the chemist a photograph of her husband making love to the chemists wife. "So why did'nt you tell me you had a prescription"
