Off Topic Back to School

Gary Cooper

 

My Grammar School was on Top of the Form and during Beatlemania one of our pupils was asked who was the lead guitarist of the Beatles. He guessed it was Ringo Starr!

 

It was indeed and that's a relief - I thought it was pretty disgusting that one teacher did that, but if there'd been more than one I'd have been even more appalled.

I think it was a motorbike cam-shaft and the corner of his desk had splinters out where he used to hit it with it. I don't recall him ever actually hitting a child though so I guess I must have been there after you.

 

Ah, that’s where I went wrong Tigger, I naively went home and told my Mum when I got caned!

I honestly didn’t even do anything, just amongst a group when a fire extinguisher had an incident, and didn’t run away fast enough, got caned. Thought I’d tell her in case School got in touch, so got walloped twice. Didn’t make that mistake again. Certainly lived & learnt. You learnt quick in the 60s.

 

Tbf, I honestly don't think he meant to connect with it, but like I say, it was too heavy and once he'd aimed it at me, he couldn't stop it.

He was a bit of a erm 'character' though. He used to take rugby and he'd just run at me with his balding head down. That was because I often tackled him when no one else would dare.

I was good at rugby league coming from Shaw Park, where we won everything, but he was a Union man. Tight hooped shirt and very short tight shorts. The thing is with rugby, once you've learned that tackling a player by taking his legs with your arms doesn't actually hurt, it becomes easy.

No offence meant to any rugby fans on here, but its not quite the tough man game that some make out.

 

I’m sure you’re right, but I’m guessing he went from nearly hitting kids with it to try and scare them into obedience, to accidentally following through and hitting you to then just hitting his desk with it by the time I was there.

To be fair it must have been a hard job teaching at what was an, ahem, ‘challenging’ school, but there was no excuse for that behaviour even then, given how badly it could have hurt someone.

I think he’d given up on rugby by that point as well, although there were more strikes and works-to-rule than extra-curricular activities when I was there.

 

Yes you did. Education for life.

 

To be fair Help, accidentally following through happens quite a lot, it's not a condition of being a **** of a teacher.

 

I find it’s more age and diet related myself Ernie.

Or I imagine I would if I knew what you were on about, which I clearly don’t.

 

Don't worry about that.

'I don't know what you're on about, Ernie', is probably the sentence I've heard most in my life.



Apart from 'Please calm down Sir, I'm sure that we'll be able to sort this out down at the Station', obviously.

 

Bus station? Railway station?

 

Radio? Fire?

 

The head was was a Mormon or something. I can't remember his name, but I do remember I only ever saw him once.

My form tutor was a ****. He wouldn't allow me to take my gcse because I'd twagged a bit.

This was a bit harsh as I'd come 2nd top in the school in an English mock exam.

I may get the spelling of name his wrong, but my tutor was Mr Choleva?

I was very good at any sports, athletics and all that, but he told Mr Sherman to not pick me for anything because I wasn't making enough effort in classes like maths.

The truth was I was just **** at maths.

Thanks for that Mr Choleva, you ****ing idiot

 

Best days of your life mate.

OK the teachers have been taking some flack, so on a more positive note and somethings from school days which i will remember forever and always appreciate.

Extra curricular activities, virtually every teacher was doing something after hours and at the weekends for the kids. A lot of sport and physical activity stuff, but loads of other things too.

 

Cough

 

My assumed timescale’s wrong if you did GCSEs - that was after I’d finished so maybe he got more stressed and started getting closer to the kids with his outbursts.

Stan Cholewa I think came in as a new teacher when I was there though. Never dealt with him, but he obviously made some impression on me for me to remember his name (Maybe taught my 6th form mates physics?). And my head was Mr Laws - strict but fair Geordie bloke

 

Best days of my life? Really, Balkan, they weren't.

They stunted my growth something rotten. Not all of them, but the most influential ones.

Trust me. If you didn't come to school on a bus and if you didn't wear a uniform, if you had your own ideas, your own hair cut.

You were Orchard Park scum to most of them.

 

ANYONE left a mark like that for life on any of My kids would have a much bigger, permanent mark on them the minute they walked down a dark alley. Teacher or no. FACT.

 

My PE teacher at Wilberforce (not that one) was also called Sherman. What school was that Kemps?