Stolen from Roger McGough (I think) and Rupert Brooke. If I should die Think only this of me That in the corner of a foreign field Lies a plagiarist
I feel better already TIC. I'll not be around to view my bank balance. Thanks for reminding me Great quote by the way https://www.thoughtco.com/the-soldier-by-rupert-brooke-1221215 https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/let-me-die-a-youngman-s-death/
How the hell do you manage to do this? )there's not even any traffic on the roads) please log in to view this image
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?' The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?' She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it means that you called for me.' Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts. Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him. ' Did you call for me?' says the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer. 'You must be new, 'says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it means that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him. The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says. The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $250 membership fee.' 'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You havent had the chance to see all our facilities.' The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month but I fart 15 times a day.
