Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

if it doesn’t play copy the link and paste to your url, I guarantee it’s worth it, the funniest thing I’ve seen for ages

 

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely: "Are - my - test - results - back?"

 

Just out for a walk and caught a bloke climbing in through a house window.

Turns out it was just a burglar working from home.

 

I'm doing a puzzle to pass the time. All you have to do is fill in the blanks.

Bank acc number:
Card number:
Sort code:
Name on card:
Expiry date:
CCV:

 

Start worrying when it starts finding your turds in the flowerbeds.

 

A friend just sent me a message asking if we're off work for much longer will we develop a Scouse accent?

 

It takes mega cojones (or insanity) to go undercover and secretly film a Narcos chopper crew!!!

 

Just watched "Yer 'Airy Bikers" on Beeb2 this evening.
Caught a tuna (and a bloody great swordfish) off Sardinia. Got back to some locals restaurant and scoffed Tuna bollocks as one course of the meal.
They really enjoyed it. I kid you not.



Pass the kidney Sydney !

 

please log in to view this image