This might be my favourite bit...
“The reason we took longer than we wanted to take was because we did a review of the German market, the Italian market, Spanish market, the whole of the British Isles, to find the candidate who stood the best chance of getting us promotion as soon as possible,” Bowkett said.
We scoured Europe? To end up with Neil Adams? Is Bowkett trying to make this worse? Who is in charge of our scouring anyway? I might apply for the role myself. My cover letter will just be a list of reasons why I want the job more than anyone else, which should be enough to clinch it given the current regime.