6-Pointer

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TheJudeanPeoplesFront

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Jun 16, 2011
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So, back from my self-enforced suspension (/two days of cold turkey and which got me so frustrated I started knawing at all the furniture and was subsequently forced to sleep outside), here's a hypothetical question:

Let's say, for the purposes of this thread, that I am God (skip to next paragraph if you accept this/don't wish to read waffle). That means some of you don't believe in me, some of you think I have eight arms (move over Tim Krul), some of you think I'm a particle that can go a billion miles an hour (hurry the feck up Bolt, so I can fit you in the 100m finish line pic... <whistle>), some of you think my posts are simply the result of an extensive computer programme which holds the fabric of space and time (and yes I did download "how to waffle on", "how to write incoherent drivel" and "how to be a penis" instead of all the martial arts stuff like Neo), some of you think I'm a brain (/penis) in a vat and that you're all figments of my imagination, some of you think I have a long white beard and sit on a cloud (when in actuality I find the whole "cloud" internet phenomena overrated and frustratingly complicated for even my God-like intellect <whistle>), and some of you think that chanting at me will help me do better (Well it works for Shola, and he is my deciple, so I see the logic)...

Anyway, I have come down to you in some form or other and said "<yourusername>, I have the ability to guarantee you 6 points (from the combined home and away fixtures) from just one team next season (excluding Sunderland because that would ruin that slight nervousness God enjoys before derby day, the anticipation and drama... Until you win and realize it was only Sunderland... <whistle>), which team do you choose and why?"

You must answer because I'm God...... please...

Also, if this has been asked before, God has a crap memory...

And if you have other problems that require God, God has a degree in a useless subject, so I can provide a crappy piece of paper that can be written on, doodled on, used to prop up a bed that is ever so slightly leaning to one side etc... All other problems probably best to seek professional help with/or buy a large notebook from any stationary shop or supermarket.
 
Fat Sam's West Ham, especially if we play at our silky best and show him that despite what he may believe, we are actually better without him, of course we have a good chance of doing this even without your godly powers but I'd want security we wouldn't have a smug Allardyce on MotD saying how once again his tactical brilliance (hoof) has shown us what we are missing.
 
Scott Dann's OK Bollocks said:
Fat Sam's West Ham, especially if we play at our silky best and show him that despite what he may believe, we are actually better without him, of course we have a good chance of doing this even without your godly powers but I'd want security we wouldn't have a smug Allardyce on MotD saying how once again his tactical brilliance (hoof) has shown us what we are missing.
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<laugh>

I had a God like sense that West Ham would be the first one mentioned... Curious...

I would personally love 6 points against Man United. My brother (the glory supporting batsteward) is all "Van Persie this", "Van Persie that", "I've just peed myself and the stain looks like our new Striker... God(/me) I hope they can't agree personal terms... Getting a couple more DVDs from the club shop for him to watch would be brilliant...
 
Hmm I'm torn between Spurs, Liverpool and Everton. Mainly because this is the group of teams we'll hopefully be competing with. I just think Arsenal, Man U, Man C and Chelski will have too much.

Given we start at Spurs I'll go for them.
 
Warm Pouch said:
Hmm I'm torn between Spurs, Liverpool and Everton. Mainly because this is the group of teams we'll hopefully be competing with. I just think Arsenal, Man U, Man C and Chelski will have too much.

Given we start at Spurs I'll go for them.
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They are an unknown entity, like a few of the teams this season, because of the new manager and loss of playing staff... So time will tell if this was a wise choice WP... I'm interested in keeping tabs on our record vs last year, considering we got points last year I'd never have expected. So last year we got 1pt from Spurs, so we have the potential to start with a bang, and if we don't it's not the end of the world (As God, I can say this without tempting fate).

As long as nobody says Villa, considering I have to miss that match!
 
The Judean People's Front said:
<laugh>

I had a God like sense that West Ham would be the first one mentioned... Curious...

I would personally love 6 points against Man United. My brother (the glory supporting batsteward) is all "Van Persie this", "Van Persie that", "I've just peed myself and the stain looks like our new Striker... God(/me) I hope they can't agree personal terms... Getting a couple more DVDs from the club shop for him to watch would be brilliant...
Click to expand...

While sat in the doc's waiting room this morning I unwillingly was forced to read the back pages of the red tops, some broke the news fairly, one (think it was the Daily Fail) went on a massive rant about how Arsenal are finished, Wenger has doomed the club and that RVP didn't move for money. <laugh>

Last year he was quoted as saying he wanted to win trophies with Arsenal, that just moving to another club to do that would be like leaving a job unfinished and he would never do that. Funny how a £40m contract can change one's resolve. I really hope he reverts to type, gets a knock and is out for the season and goes on another raping spree while Arsenal's new boys do the business. Arsenal IMO have strengthened, I don't buy all the doom and gloom.
 
Everton, just becaue I feel it's one of those teams we never do well against (I know we won last year but still). I feel confident we can scrape something out of any game against anyone else apart from Everton.
 
if i had the ability to guarantee six points off one team in the league.

Man City, or maybe Man United, simply because as the strongest teams in the league we are least likely to get six points off them, thus my guarantee would boost us by more points than if it focused on a weaker team from whom we may get 3, 4, or 6 points off anyway.
 
Scott Dann's OK Bollocks said:
While sat in the doc's waiting room this morning I unwillingly was forced to read the back pages of the red tops, some broke the news fairly, one (think it was the Daily Fail) went on a massive rant about how Arsenal are finished, Wenger has doomed the club and that RVP didn't move for money. <laugh>

Last year he was quoted as saying he wanted to win trophies with Arsenal, that just moving to another club to do that would be like leaving a job unfinished and he would never do that. Funny how a £40m contract can change one's resolve. I really hope he reverts to type, gets a knock and is out for the season and goes on another raping spree while Arsenal's new boys do the business. Arsenal IMO have strengthened, I don't buy all the doom and gloom.
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<laugh> I think Arsenal fans should be feeling quietly optimistic this year. I really think if Arsenal had lost Van Persie and only signed Podolski, they'd have had a reasonable window rather than a bad one, but Giroud as well could make for a class partnership. They have a recognizable basis to be champions in my opinion, but there are a couple of areas that need revamping if that realisation is to occur.

I don't rate the keeper at all, I think he's average but with tendancy to do something incredible stupid (ie World Cup, and the countless times he messed up last year), but Arsenal fans rate him so maybe I'm wrong... To be fair, they've had some shockers in recent memory, so by comparison maybe he looks world class...
 
Colin Sharpe said:
if i had the ability to guarantee six points off one team in the league.

Man City, or maybe Man United, simply because as the strongest teams in the league we are least likely to get six points off them, thus my guarantee would boost us by more points than if it focused on a weaker team from whom we may get 3, 4, or 6 points off anyway.
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I would rep you if I wasn't in jail (I know this sounds wrong)... I like your logical thinking (especially as this is a thread were the OP is God)! One of the best parts of last season was the intense whistling/booing that went on for about five minutes when Man City were in possession... Really highlights the power of the crowd, because as soon as we were silent they scored and were comfortable

Everton is a good choice too, can't remember if they had Jelavic when we got our points off them last year. Bit of a bogey team.
 
Wigan, I don't we've ever done the double against them. We always seem to draw 2-2 and last season they humiliated us 4-0 at a crucial point of our CL push. Grrr
 
The Judean People's Front said:
I would rep you if I wasn't in jail (I know this sounds wrong)... I like your logical thinking (especially as this is a thread were the OP is God)! One of the best parts of last season was the intense whistling/booing that went on for about five minutes when Man City were in possession... Really highlights the power of the crowd, because as soon as we were silent they scored and were comfortable

Everton is a good choice too, can't remember if they had Jelavic when we got our points off them last year. Bit of a bogey team.
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Repped him for you, and also because I was going to give the same answer for much the same reasons
 
I would like to take 6 points from Fulham, they absolutely destroyed us at Craven Cottage, ruined what should have been a lovely day out for me.:laugh:

Have to throw Stoke in the mix as well, no explanation required!
 
LTF said:
I would like to take 6 points from Fulham, they absolutely destroyed us at Craven Cottage, ruined what should have been a lovely day out for me.:laugh:

Have to throw Stoke in the mix as well, no explanation required!
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You and a few thousand other travellers. Of course we got what we deserved because we just didn't turn up.
 
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