The Christmas Thread

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Worst Christmas joke ever ( I know , I made it up )
What did Santa say when he stopped his sleigh and greeted a hooker and offered her a cream filled chocolate snack .
Ho , ho ho ho ...ho , ho ho ?....well I said it was bad , I'll get my coat ....
 
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FosseFilberto said:
... bit more specific please...do you mean according to the Julian calendar or pre dating that?
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According to Albert, the Jehovas witness I used to debate with. He used to enjoy Kipling's Angel slices and a cuppa. So I used to buy a box for his monthly visit.
 
Chief said:
I need to know what cheeses you plan to buy.
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Was doing a shop for xmas a couple years ago and saw a cheese that I had never heard of. It was called THISPIECE Cheddar
I picked it up checked the price , and wondered where Thispiece was.
After a couple of minutes Mrs RCL and my 2 girls caught up with me and pissed themselves laughing at me.
The label was saying THIS PIECE Cheddar £1.99 but who ever type it forgot to hit the space bar between the words.
Teach me to get all poncey
 
Went shopping in a shopping centre last week to get a present for my daughter's 19th birthday. 6th November and the whole centre was decorated for xmas and all the shops were playing Xmas songs...those decorations will be up for around 2 months ... two ****ing months...that's a ****ing 6th of the entire year...nearly 17 ****ing percent of the year
... that's a ****ing load of Xmas for all the grinchy baa humbug mo fos on this thread <grr>
 
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Santa Claus has got nothing to do with Christmas which lol has got nothing to do with Jesus....anyway back to Santa. It was an invention of Coca Cola lol.
 
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Chief said:
Well, it's fast approaching and pretty much unavoidable so here is the thread we've secretly all been waiting for.

What do you plan to do, what do you eat and drink, any family or non family traditions or annoyances?

Favourite Christmas tune, TV program, all that ****.

Put it here.

If you don't celebrate Christmas because you're weird or something call it the festive thread, whatever.
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Of all the people to start a Christmas thread in mid- November I didnt think it would be you.

I know it was you Fredo, I know it was you. :(
 
Spurlock said:
Santa Claus has got nothing to do with Christmas which lol has got nothing to do with Jesus....anyway back to Santa. It was an invention of Coca Cola lol.
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Actually 'Sinta Claus' was bought to America by Dutch settlers in the 1730's it wasn't used by Coca Cola until 1931. Just saying like.
 
remembercolinlee said:
Went shopping in a shopping centre last week to get a present for my daughter's 19th birthday. 6th November and the whole centre was decorated for xmas and all the shops were playing Xmas songs...those decorations will be up for around 2 months ... two ****ing months...that's a ****ing 6th of the entire year...nearly 17 ****ing percent of the year
... that's a ****ing load of Xmas for all the grinchy baa humbug mo fos on this thread <grr>
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...fcukin maths teachers ...no wonder they get the 'odd' sock lobbed at them ... :)
 
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