With you modelling yourself on Christopher Biggins, you should know all the lyrics to Blace Lace songs.
And yet, strangely, I don't. But I bet your functions band does. You can only dream about mastering your instrument as well I have mine.
I bet you wish she'd give you some action eh mate ? It must get a bit lonely only having your 'instrument' to play with
It must hurt you that if I had met your missus first, I'd have given her one before leaving her to you.
She's really not into the 'beta male' type that you exude mate. I expect being a needy weirdo, you need a woman who will 'mother' you.
Pix, you can relax. It's been a long while since I last swung my dick. Besides, I have never been into taking mates missus' for a ride. It's not my style, mate.