Room 101

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People who stand on both sides of the escalator.

Fit babes who check you out going the opposite way on the escalator. The "what could have been" feeling :(
 
People in London really don't like you standing on the left hand side of the escalator! No one obviously says anything, just some strong tutting <laugh>
 
Or to be a bit more specific, calf length trousers.

Short longs, long shorts, whatever you want to call them. Worn in the main on holiday by clueless knobhead dads who's girlfriends and wives dress them.

Go to any airport of on any ferry and I guarantee you will see at least ten blokes wearing the abominations.
 
I don't mind actual shorts, as long as it is summer of course. And you're on a beach.

This **** was in the pub last night and it is snowing today!! He finished his look off with white plimsolls. And socks.

He's lucky I wasn't carrying a bat.
 
Or to be a bit more specific, calf length trousers.

Short longs, long shorts, whatever you want to call them. Worn in the main on holiday by clueless knobhead dads who's girlfriends and wives dress them.

Go to any airport of on any ferry and I guarantee you will see at least ten blokes wearing the abominations.

Indeed.

In winter, in the alehouse on a Thursday night.....wearing white pumps as well the biff. I hope you accidentally trod on them.

The first sight of sun peeping through the cloud and you'll see the boy band wannabes rooting them out of their wardrobe and wandering down the alehouse in their fake Ray Bans. I have a special look of disdain that I reserve for teds like this. It's not subtle.