All that anger is eating up your Mouser heart. Best to let it go...repeat after me:
"Stevie G has gone. Carragher is Gary Neville's bitch. We're paying James Milner £140,000 a week. We're in 9th place and worse than Watford and we just celebrated a home point against West Brom like Port Vale would if they could win the league."
When you've confronted the reality of the situation you can build up to admitting 9th place is very, very mid-table.
Mousers are for life but they're very, very funny at Christmas!