Ploddledegook - Police spouting bollocks again

[RicardoHCAFC]

Thanks to Northamptonshire Police/The Plain English Campaign we have a new term for when the police use jargon and/or management talk to cover or hide what they really mean whilst sounding clever.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-32620554

I love the irony of it including this:

The information pack also said the chief constable should not just issue "management speak from above" because "inevitably such statements of corporate aspiration can feel like yet another list of jargon and management-speak".

Other than the obvious "Police Intelligence says", meaning "There's no reason for it and we don't feel the need to justify our illegal treatment of people to you" have we got anything else yet?

 

[originallambrettaman]

"a pioneer in blue-light collaboration".

Kinnel

 

[WhittlingStick]

de do do do de da da da

 

[Carmine Galante.]

What a silly ****.

He looks like he's been dead for a fortnight as well.

****ing eeedjut.

 

[Ernie Shackleton]

I understand stuff me.


I know how an internal combustion engine works.

Suck, squeeze, bang, blow.

Unless it's a two stroke obviously.


Osmosis? The movement of molecules from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration through a semipermeable membrane.

Remembered that since 1978.

Never needed to use it mind.


How they built the pyramids?
Moved the Easter Island statues.
Sailed to Australia without adequate marine technology.

I'll debate theories with ya 'til the cows come home.



But I'm ****ed if I understand what the point of a Police & Crime Commissioner is.

 

[balkan tiger]

I understand stuff me.


I know how an internal combustion engine works.

Suck, squeeze, bang, blow.

Unless it's a two stroke obviously.


Osmosis? The movement of molecules from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration through a semipermeable membrane.

Remembered that since 1978.

Never needed to use it mind.


How they built the pyramids?
Moved the Easter Island statues.
Sailed to Australia without adequate marine technology.

I'll debate theories with ya 'til the cows come home.



But I'm ****ed if I understand what the point of a Police & Crime Commissioner is.

How do two stroke engines work?

 

[originallambrettaman]

How do two stroke engines work?

In my experience, they often don't.

 

[balkan tiger]

In my experience, they often don't.

Thats your Italian tat, you should have tried something Japanese.

 

[Ernie Shackleton]

How do two stroke engines work?

Piston down suck and blow. Piston up squeeze and bang.

 

[John Ex Aberdeen now E.R.]

Oily plug comes to mind

 

[PLT]

I understand stuff me.


I know how an internal combustion engine works.

Suck, squeeze, bang, blow.

Unless it's a two stroke obviously.


Osmosis? The movement of molecules from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration through a semipermeable membrane.

Remembered that since 1978.

Never needed to use it mind.


How they built the pyramids?
Moved the Easter Island statues.
Sailed to Australia without adequate marine technology.

I'll debate theories with ya 'til the cows come home.



But I'm ****ed if I understand what the point of a Police & Crime Commissioner is.

Why do we need someone commissioning any more crime anyway?

 

[Ernie Shackleton]

Why do we need someone commissioning any more crime anyway?

People just don't think these things through.

My favourite ever job title is Domestic Violence Coordinator.

They think someone to manage a multi-agency approach aiming to prevent within-family physical assault.

I imagine a bloke organising a team of thugs to ensure that some poor lass gets a regular beating.

 

[DMD]

People just don't think these things through.

My favourite ever job title is Domestic Violence Coordinator.

They think someone to manage a multi-agency approach aiming to prevent within-family physical assault.

I imagine a bloke organising a team of thugs to ensure that some poor lass gets a regular beating.

I wouldn't want to be the one to break the news to the rejected applicants for the Hate Crime Coordinators role.

 

[balkan tiger]

Piston down suck and blow. Piston up squeeze and bang.

Its still suck, squeeze, bang, blow, but when its sucking it also blowing and when its blowing its also sucking.

 

[RicardoHCAFC]

Its still suck, squeeze, bang, blow, but when its sucking it also blowing and when its blowing its also sucking.

Cicular breathing then, like a trombonist. (nobody google it this time)