Saint Ronald

Oh, you...

 

RoK and RaK

 

R. Krueg and the K-Man.

 

Ronnie and Ralphie, the Kay twins?

 

Paul Hart to Southampton still can't get over how sky sports fell for that

 

Manager and Chairman

 

Okay, back to the ostrich v kangaroo thing. I've been pondering it for a while and not come up with an answer. Tough one, this.

 

Ostrich I reckon.

 

R-Koe, and his bro, Er-Koe and then of course, R-Kru.

I thought it would be obvious.

 

Gotta give your reasoning, man. It has a hell of a kick on it, but so does the kangaroo. Both have very sharp claws/talons as well. Ostrich is about 2.5m tall and weighs 115kg, so it beats the kangaroo in both departments, but not by a lot. Kangaroo is probably more dextrous, what with having arms and all.

 

What arena are they fighting in? Do they have a large open space, or are they confined to a ring of some sort? Only I think the latter would suit a kangaroo, while the former would benefit the ostrich.

 

My mate is still adamant that it was him. Still have no reason to disbelieve him. Just glad he didn't get the job.

 

They're on a large, dry plain. Plenty of room to move about in. Kangaroo can reach a speed of 44 mph in a short burst, and can sustain a speed of around 25mph for over a mile. Ostrich's top speed is about the same, but I imagine it can sustain that speed, unlike the kangaroo.

 

Roo has greater endurance. Evade until the ostrich is knackered, then finish the job.

 

I'll go Kangaroo. Two arms and two legs to fight with and also lower centre of gravity. Can jump far too which means it can get in and out quickly to avoid the beak.

 

The Roo also has a nasty claw on the back of it's foot for disembowelling purposes. Roo every time.

 

I think the Kangaroo would win, but it would be quite a lame fight. Certainly no deaths. The ostrich would just leg it as soon as it got scared.

 

I'm starting to think so too. The only problem is what will be the killer blow. Ostrich has the power in its legs to deliver a fatal kick, and I don't think kangaroo is capable of the same. However kangaroo can use its agility and get on all fours. If it can avoid the deadly kicks, it can wear the ostrich down and beat it with endurance.

Okay, the next battle is goblin shark v the common octopus.

The arena is obviously underwater, at a depth of 500m below surface (middle ground between the two competitors' natural depths), so the goblin shark is light-headed and a bit blinded, while the octopus has the bends. Go!

 

Kangaroo's actually look like drunken pub twats when they fight. Pretty cool.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F3ZDqLIw7c

 

It's not about the beak though, it's about these babies:

please log in to view this image