Off Topic The Rep Brothel

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kiwiqpr said:
How to keep a woman happy.... Priceless!








It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
It doesn't take much !!
A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynaecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organiser
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30 Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36.. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Let her go shopping regularly
47. Be honest
48. Be relatively rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other women
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51.. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes or who she is with

BUT IT IS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT TO:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
* her parents
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Leave him alone
Click to expand...

.:emoticon-0105-wink:.
 
kiwiqpr said:
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.

This “TRUE” interview went as follows:
The lady reporter: “I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?”



The farmer stared at the reporter and said: “Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

Reporter: (obviously embarrassed): “Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?”

Farmer: “Miss, did you know that we milk a cow twice a day?”

Reporter: “Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?”

Farmer: “I am getting to the point, Miss.” “Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't YOU get mad?”

THE TV INTERVIEW WAS NEVER AIRED.
Click to expand...

hurrah... pos rep!
 
kiwiqpr said:
Paddy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!"
Click to expand...

rep
 
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