Beefy's Corner - The Off-Topic Chat Thread

Well we can help with the speech:

"I've loved xxxx for 4 years since we first met and I look forward to her realising that I have loved Saints for 14 years more and that figure will never change throughout the years to come. In fact in any relationship you have ups and downs and sometimes you may fall a little out of love and I know that xxxx and I will go through this no doubt; with Saints there has been ups and downs but I've never stopped and never will stop loving them"

Or surprise her and tell her and the family how musically talented you are and that before you met her, you actually entered the Young Musician of the Year award; she was an 18 year old violinist from Winchester!

* coat please *

 

Could you do us all a favour?

Would you invite Pompey Lapras to the evening do and pay one of the bridesmaids to let him nail her! Pllleeeeeaaaasssse!!!

 

I remember ending my speech by stating that it couldn't have happened to a nicer couple..!

After having our legs pulled by all the Kiwis making little speeches, the irony of that last bit [yes, I winged it] was completely lost on the New Zealanders in the room [it's not generally said by the groom after all], except my NZ wife, who laughed like a drain, because she totally got my sense of humour.

 

Bridesmaids reputably tend to be quite eager to get laid, so he shouldn't have to pay her really. Though PL might take the whole slowly-get-to-know-her-and-be-ready-to-ask-her-out-after-a-month-of-pondering approach.

 

Especially if said bridesmaid wears glasses. Glasses are hot.

 

My mate recently told me he wants me to be his best man, but it'll be a good while before the wedding yet (they're not actually engaged yet). Gives me time to come up with the funniest speech ever written.

 

You're probably a Mitchell and Webb Look fan so you should understand the reference - try the "The most beautiful woman in the world" speech.

 

Getting married was easily the most terrifying thing I`ve ever done - standing in front of dozens of people, making promises. I had a sense or finality, that things would never be the same. The reality is that it was the best thing I`ve ever done. She`s even been to see Saints, and enjoyed it. Have a couple of drams before the event, then best foot forward !

 

One for TSS. Nicky Hayden is losing his Ducati ride at the end of the season. Crutchlow to Ducati then?

 

Depends on how big his seat is?

 

I think they're all either pregnant, engaged, or lesbians. Apart from that it's fair game.

 

Don't see a category there to prevent you signing off with the best possible present to the forum.

 

Where's our invites?

 

Haha aww she's a good sport but I think that might push it. Besides, it'd only work if the groom went immediately before me and ended his speech by saying she's the most beautiful woman in the world. However, the rough outline I have in my head so far is that I'm going to list the reasons why she's making a terrible mistake.

 

Yeah, sorry about that GBS. I knew about that yesterday and didn't mention it. All I can say is, is that Nicky is almost as fast as Dovi on the Ducati, and he'll be a great addition to World Superbikes. And Crutchlow will ruin his MotoGP career.

Nicky has an excellent opportunity to be the first MotoGP and World Superbike World Champion, and I reckon he could do it too if he's on the right bike. That MotoGP Ducati is an absolute cow to ride, despite what Stoner achieved on it. It's my belief that Stoner's style suited the Ducati, if any style did. Casey always did explore the merits of a bike's front end in crashes.

 

I've been asked to give a speech for my best friend's wedding. Knowing me, she (and there's where it gets tricky) has asked that I not make it embarrassing, has asked that I be relatively sober when delivering it, and that I actually write something down rather than rambling for several minutes. No idea how it's going to work.

 

What?! She took all the fun out of it!

 

Official Not606 piss up?

 

if your friend is thick skinned then that has the potential for greatness, could be a fine line though! Still, years to prepare so it'll be awesome. I've always thought picking a best man would be pretty awkward because for the past eight or nine years I've had the same two best friends on the same level, so I wouldn't know what to do and I doubt that's an uncommon predicament!

 

Yeah hopefully he does well for himself. I liked him when I first got into MotoGP, but he's just been down on luck ever since