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Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Gambol, Jul 1, 2013.

  1. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Am gonny kick your **** in. I can locate your **** cos it's in yer trouser. <grr>
     
    #141
  2. Rubber Johnny

    Rubber Johnny Well-Known Member

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    Cynicism, there's allways one eh. ;)
     
    #142
  3. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Cynical? I think not.

    ML11 has heid cancer and he's training to be a fallopian tube nurse or some such thing. What's worse is he's ugly and comes from East Kilbride.

    That, my friend, is fighting the odds.
     
    #143
  4. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Well-Known Member

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    Cats and dogs look better than that culinary disgrace
     
    #144
  5. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Don't diss the stovies <grr>
     
    #145
  6. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Well-Known Member

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    I'll diss whatever I want

    If that's what you cook it's no wonder Tina rejects you
     
    #146
  7. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    <laugh>

    Wimmin reject me for many more reasons than that.

    Usually, though, it's because apparently "Can I see your tits now?" has no place in any conversation with a wummin. I found that out recently. So, the future is lookin good. Unless, in the meantime, one of you ****s turns up with an explosive vest on at a buffet I happen to be attending.
     
    #147
  8. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I'll turn up with an explosive vest and make "can I see your tits now?" work
     
    #148
  9. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Interesting. I think we can work together.

    Just promise not to blow all the tits up before I cop a feel <ok>
     
    #149
  10. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Well-Known Member

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    Work together? Interesting idea

    But I'd rather put the vest on you while you're talking to a girl and then give her the detonator
     
    #150

  11. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    That will never work. Me? Talking to a girl in real life? Ye would get a better casualty rate by you wearing muslim clobber with the vest on the outside and lit up fireworks on it screaming "I kill you all for Allah" and you would still get a second date compared to me.
     
    #151
  12. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    Gambol - you would have avoided all the **** in this thread if only you had gone to the soup kitchen - as usual !
     
    #152
  13. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Well-Known Member

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    Oh, so you only use the tits line on dating sites?

    That's unrealistic since most of them have their tits out anyway

    You should be making fun of their profiles
     
    #153
  14. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    So, us workin together by you threatening to blow them up unless they get their tits oot is a no go?

    Dammit. I really don't fancy feelin their tits after ye ignite the bomb.

    We really need to rework this plan.
     
    #154
  15. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Well-Known Member

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    I don't need an explosive vest to get women to show their tits

    I just need to get rid of their friends/boyfriend, and that's hard to do alone
     
    #155
  16. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Yeah, I can see where the explosive vest plan disny work there.

    Poison?
     
    #156
  17. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED
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    I don't wish to scupper your plan but I once beat a bloke up who happened to be with his girlfriend but she didn't seem to want to get her tits out. :(

    In fact she was quite angry.
     
    #157
  18. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    This is true.

    Don't ever get in between a bloke and his burd havin a fight regardless of how violent it gets. Guaranteed the wummin will attack ye the minnit ye smack her bloke for hittin her.

    Happened to me when I stepped in. Seen it happen again since.

    Keep well out and let him batter her. Preferably with a fish supper to eat while watching the street theatre.
     
    #158
  19. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    I misread that, didn't I <laugh>
     
    #159
  20. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Well-Known Member

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    Yes, fair point

    I'll amend my last post and say when her boyfriend's not there, or if you don't know she has one (the latter's better)
     
    #160

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