I tried to keep it under wraps but ACS found out and put it on the board a couple of weeks ago, it's a good job I'm quite a dab hand at blacking myself up for the pictures/cameras. I'm half tempted to sign for the Mackems because they don't use soap and my secret will remain safe, plus the fact they're that dim they'll just think I'm related to Obafemi Martins when they see how old and wrinkly I look.
Just can't trust anybody these days. I'll be going around all the shops selling expensive sports memorabilia to see if it's all been put on sale.