Press reporting on Tenerife booze up

[overseasTOON]

I can't contain my anger . I am going to smash something expensive and send Newcastle United the bill.

How ****ing dare they enjoy their lives?

Someone should follow this journalist around for a week and sensationalise everything he does.

Paparazz-pee scandal

Journalist urinates in toilet!! Thought to have also defecated and forgot to flush. Neighbours claim he'd always been the silent type.

 

[biggeordiedave]

Paparazz-pee scandal

Journalist urinates in toilet!! Thought to have also defecated and forgot to flush. Neighbours claim he'd always been the silent type.

I'm surprised one of the players didn't say "****" or "crap". DRUNKEN NEWCASTLE PLAYER IN VILE FOUR LETTER TIRADE.

 

[jimileysbaldhead]

BREAKING NEWS

Jimileysbaldhead drove up to Newcastle yesterday for his sister in laws wedding and had 1 pint followed by a sparkling water. He then left the party at 9.00pm with the intention to break the world land speed record in order to get back to his local in Melton Mowbray with the intention of getting a lock in and subsequently snottered..." he had that look in his eye " said his wife when reluctantly saying goodbye to wedding guests.

Unfortunately the cunning plan was thwarted by the bastards closing the A1 just North of Catterick for roadworks and sending him on a 1 hour detour round every f*cking village in Yorkshie resulting in him not getting back in time.

He now fully regrets his behaviour and promises to let his wife drive back from future functions when she kindly offers as she "doesn't drink so you might as well enjoy yourself "

He's booked himself into a local tattooist to get TWAT on his forehead.

 

[Agent Bruce]

He's booked himself into a local tattooist to get TWAT on his forehead.

How much is that going to put you back?

 

[Speedo]

What's even funnier is that they insinuate they went out and got smashed, yet not one of our players (except taylor who's injured) has a drink in his hand!

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Gutierrez's Right Boot]

Erm doesnt one of the lads on heres sister go out with Saylor

 

[Warmir Pouchov]

Disgraceful. So they all went away and got hammered. Sack them all.

 

[Albert's Chip Shop]

Erm doesnt one of the lads on heres sister go out with Saylor

Who?

 

[Agent Bruce]

Disgraceful. So they all went away and got hammered. Sack them all.

The sacks too good for them.

Burn them, burn them good!

 

[Obertan's Rancid Toe]

Erm doesnt one of the lads on heres sister go out with Saylor

lol wut

 

[Gutierrez's Right Boot]

lol wut

When Saylor got injured did he say his sister was going to go out with him then got a text saying hes out for the season

 

[Obertan's Rancid Toe]

When Saylor got injured did he say his sister was going to go out with him then got a text saying hes out for the season

Dunno mate that one must have slipped past me

 

[Beardsley's Rancid Sack]

Pardew four-way by the looks of things...

 

[Sammy's Teckers]

When Saylor got injured did he say his sister was going to go out with him then got a text saying hes out for the season

Yup I remember this

 

[Shola's Concrete Boots]

Players enjoy themselves away from work Scandal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh no

 

[Shola's Best Hat]

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children

 

[Agent Bruce]

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children

It's all too much for my virgin eyes.

 

[Agent Bruce]

When Saylor got injured did he say his sister was going to go out with him then got a text saying hes out for the season

Remember the story but don't remember who's sister it was.

 

[Agent Bruce]

TJR_CaptainColo'sNUFC‎?

 

[goldie]

I knew this trip would have a bad effect on our teams performance, however it still doesn't change ther fact we would never have won the competition anyway. We can focus on the league now. Hopefully Sunderland will do well and struggle in the league.