Shagging an animal - if you had to ...

Name your first choice and your last choice.

 

a gorilla. susan boyle.

the hope being that the gorilla would kill me before i got to susan boyle

 

First choice - Squirrel. Hate the ****ing things, "The european red squirrels are being overrun by American Grey Squirrels" Who gives a ****? Its a ****ing rat. Lokk this red squirrel is getting ****ed up the arse by a 29 year old man

Last choice - monkey. They;re too clever & human like. You try & get oral & they'd tell you its your turn to go down on her next They're also more likely to want a relationship after.

 

first choice would be a blue whale, just to be able to say you ****ed the biggest mammal alive

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last would be a porcupine, **** shagging one of those spiky wee ****ers.

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I thought a Grey Squirrel, was just an old Red Squirrel.

 

Probably a dolphin. shag the hole in it's head
last would be a croc. **** that!

 

I watched one of those pissy 5 minute documentaries they on C4 the once & it was about this guy who went round shooting grey squirrels - he was an ex army guy who felt it was his patriotic duty to protect the British squirrel

Think this is the guy http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/3309900/Shooting-greys-to-save-the-red-squirrel.html

 

Being a traditionalist, I'd pump a sheep. Not from behind though, as you miss out on too mush kissing that way

I wouldn't fancy shagging a Lion, for the obvious (the **** might eat me) reasons

 

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best dog ever?

 

I'd like to see the litter from that encounter

My new Tigrador will take on any ****in devil dog

 

Why do i get the impression you have actually sat and thought about this before?

 

oh ffs

this is falling into the same "i'd walk over hot coals to play for my country" pish how the **** can you be patriotic about a bloody squirrel?

although the happiest i've ever been in my life was during that dream i had about being a squirrel with all our wee squirrely japeries

 

Just thought, what about a camel.

you could get a hump **** from it

 

Who hasn't? Its one of lifes must be answered questions.

Like in Back To The Future when goes back in time & his mom tries it on with him.......well technically he wasn;t born yet so would it have been alright to pump her? She was pretty tasy back then

 

Years ago the Mrs' oldest brother was cooking in the kitchen & the younger brother was out in the garden playing up the tree or something.

The younger brother for some reason started dropping nuts from the tree all the way down the garden & in to the kitchen, a squirrel was following the trail & when he was in the kitchen the younger brother slammed the back door shut trapping the squirrel in the house

They all ran off ****ting themselves & waited for the mom to come back to sort it out, the kitchen was totally ****ed!!

 

Couldn't have been members of The Tufty Club, ****ing splitters

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8355287.stm

 

" sort of space weasel "

 

its some life being a squirrel brum, dont knock it

 

Cant say i've thought it through before

Granted me and my mates have had some long drawn out debates about stupid things such as who would win a fight between a shark and a crocodile - but never woudl i hump the winner