Martin won't happen. But if it did, in a sick morbid curiosity kind of way, it would almost be funny.
Russell Martin? Come on SR, read the room! (I am presuming that really Alex Crook has one contact in our squad, and it's someone a bit disgruntled at not playing regularly who preferred Martin to Still. So Stephens or Fraser or Downes. Nothing to see here really)
It won't be him. It really won't. If it is, my arsehole will be the 'O' in the SR OUT banner painted across my buttocks.
Both you and Lincs have met me. It's not something anyone needs to see, and should be enough to persuade even the rotten seniors not to do it.