Off Topic Offensive jokes thread

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Do you know of a lad called Paul who follows City? Disabled lad with no arms or legs. No?
Ok.

(Pause)

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Not Paul.

I heard my 8 year old tell a version of this to one of his schoolmates a few weeks ago. I nearly pissed myself laughing!
****ing Brutal!
 
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A man walks into a bar, he notices a sign on the wall that says hot dogs £2 cheeseburgers £3 and handjobs £10. A busty blonde approaches him and asks” what can I get you sweetie? Yeah, are you the one giving the handjobs? Smiling she says “why yes I am” “In that case” says the man “why don't you go wash your hands and make me a cheeseburger!!!
 
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