Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

An old one, but funny . . . .

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You can either make me smile or scowl . . . . it's your choice

 

Another owldy . . . .

 

Done that but on my foreskin
The worst part was I knew I had to pull it down

 

That's brilliant

 

It's against the law to have sex on Christmas eve in Iceland, apparently.

I'm not sure if it's the same in Tesco, Aldi or Asda, but it might be worth finding out before the work's Christmas party.

 

Because of multi-faith, multi-culturalism and diversity I decided to obtain full legal advice before posting:
"Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress , non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all .
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2022, but not without due respect for the Calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great ( not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country ) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee .
By accepting this greeting, please be advised that you are accepting these terms :
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable on the proviso that there is no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Best Regards ( without prejudice )
Name withheld (Privacy Act)"

Or, in plain English:
Bollocks . . . . Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all

 

Cracks me up every time I hear it