Off Topic The best joke you know.
- Thread starter Qatartiger Cambridgetiger
- Start date
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boy gets sent home from school for having sex aged 11
mother, livid sends him to his room
father gets home and on hearing the news rushes up to see him
"wow son, ignore your mother, I'm dead proud, I never had a sniff till I was thirteen!!"
"in fact you know that mountain bike I was gonna buy you for your twelth birthday?"
I'll let you have it tomorrow !!!
son says "thanks dad but can you leave it a while, maybe till next weekend?"
dads says "yeah but why's that son?"
son says
" my arse is still a bit sore...."
mother, livid sends him to his room
father gets home and on hearing the news rushes up to see him
"wow son, ignore your mother, I'm dead proud, I never had a sniff till I was thirteen!!"
"in fact you know that mountain bike I was gonna buy you for your twelth birthday?"
I'll let you have it tomorrow !!!
son says "thanks dad but can you leave it a while, maybe till next weekend?"
dads says "yeah but why's that son?"
son says
" my arse is still a bit sore...."
Not a joke, but funny.
Anthony Knockaert knee slide fail.
Anthony Knockaert knee slide fail.
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Really don't know why players do this. One wrong move and your ACL has gone and you're a year out.
Old Yorkshire farmer sees a man drinking out of the beck.
"I wunt drink that watter mate cos it's full of cow ****e and sheep piss"
The man replies, "Could you speak more slowly as I'm from London and didn't understand what you said?"
The farmer replies, "I - SAID - YOU'LL - FIND - IT - EASIER - IF - YOU - USE - TWO - HANDS."
"I wunt drink that watter mate cos it's full of cow ****e and sheep piss"
The man replies, "Could you speak more slowly as I'm from London and didn't understand what you said?"
The farmer replies, "I - SAID - YOU'LL - FIND - IT - EASIER - IF - YOU - USE - TWO - HANDS."
The funeral was held today for the inventor of the dishwasher. His coffin was lowered into the grave, only to be taken out by his wife and put back in properly.
Woman goes to docs" doctor I keep getting 2 green rings appear on my inner thighs. Everytime I get rid of them they reappear in a couple of days"
The doc does all the tests he can but finds no illness. Then he asks the woman " are you a lesbian?"
She replies yes but what's that got to do with it?"
He says "tell your lass her earnings aren't real gold"
The doc does all the tests he can but finds no illness. Then he asks the woman " are you a lesbian?"
She replies yes but what's that got to do with it?"
He says "tell your lass her earnings aren't real gold"
A nun goes into a pub. She sees a group of guys playing darts. 'Can I have a go?' she asks.
'Sure,' says a guy and hands her his darts.
First one goes straight into treble 20. Second one straight into treble 20. Third one is heading into treble 20, but hits the wire, bounces out and hits her in the head. The scorer shouts out. 'One nun dead and eighty.'
'Sure,' says a guy and hands her his darts.
First one goes straight into treble 20. Second one straight into treble 20. Third one is heading into treble 20, but hits the wire, bounces out and hits her in the head. The scorer shouts out. 'One nun dead and eighty.'
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How did they know Jesus was 6lb and 3oz at birth?
because there was a weigh in the manger.
because there was a weigh in the manger.
How long does it take to make a really small dog?
chihuahuas
chihuahuas
Guy goes into pub with a crocodile on a leash...says to the landlord "he's tame..and does tricks"
Landlord says "OK.. show me"
The customer takes his cock out and puts it in the crocs mouth..then hits the croc on the head with a cricket bat..he removes his cock and there is not a mark on it..
Customer says you wanna go?"
Landlord " yeah but don't hit me that hard"
Landlord says "OK.. show me"
The customer takes his cock out and puts it in the crocs mouth..then hits the croc on the head with a cricket bat..he removes his cock and there is not a mark on it..
Customer says you wanna go?"
Landlord " yeah but don't hit me that hard"