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Off Topic The best joke you know.

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Qatartiger Cambridgetiger, Nov 13, 2015.

Page 17 of 17
  1. pierredelafranchesca

    pierredelafranchesca Well-Known Member

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    What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

    A carrot
     
    #321
    pierredelafranchesca, Jul 13, 2022
    Brucebones and Chazz Rheinhold like this.
  2. Chazz Rheinhold

    Chazz Rheinhold Well-Known Member

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    I lolled
     
    #322
    Chazz Rheinhold, Jul 13, 2022
  3. Melbournetiger

    Melbournetiger Well-Known Member

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    A moth goes into see a doctor
    Doctor How can I help you ?
    Well doc I am at the end of my tether, I come home after a hard day at work, look at my wife and feel it is just not the same my feelings too her.
    My kids are out of control , my daughter does what she wants and never listens
    My son just stays in his room doesn’t speak
    I feel nothing is worth it

    It sounds you need to see a psychiatrist,can I ask why you came here

    Your light was on !


    Norm McDonald RIP
     
    #323
    Melbournetiger, Jul 14, 2022
    Chillo, Des Head, Kempton and 2 others like this.
  4. rovertiger

    rovertiger Well-Known Member

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    #324
    rovertiger, Jul 14, 2022
    Brucebones, Chillo, AlRawdah and 2 others like this.
  5. Barrington Womble

    Barrington Womble Well-Known Member

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    Women are like pianos, when they’re not upright they’re grand
     
    #325
    Barrington Womble, Jul 14, 2022
    Brucebones, Chillo and TwoWrights like this.
  6. The B&S Fanclub

    The B&S Fanclub Well-Known Member

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    Man goes to see his doctor.
    'What's the problem?' the doctor asks.
    'It's a bit embarrassing,' he replies.
    ''You can tell me.'
    'Well, every time I sneeze I get an erection'.
    'Are you taking anything for it?' the doctor asks.
    'Pepper,' he replies.
     
    #326
    The B&S Fanclub, Jul 14, 2022
    Brucebones likes this.
  7. Ambraneri

    Ambraneri Well-Known Member

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    I had my leg X rayed today.
    The doctor said: 'Your patella is 2.54cm tall'.
    I said: 'Inch-high knees?'
    He said '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高.'
     
    #327
    Ambraneri, Jul 14, 2022
    Stockholm Tiger, gtigerbackin hull, Chesh1recat and 2 others like this.
  8. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    A Hollywood hostess, giving instructions to a new maid just before a party, cautioned: “Now remember, Marie, when you serve my guests, don’t wear any jewelry.”

    “I haven’t anything valuable, madam,” answered the maid. “But thanks for the warning just the same.”
     
    #328
    DMD, Jul 14, 2022
    rovertiger likes this.
  9. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    A man went into a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail. The waitress smiled sweetly and said, “Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster…”
     
    #329
    DMD, Jul 14, 2022
    Brucebones, rovertiger and Qatartiger Cambridgetiger like this.
  10. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Mrs. Smythe was making final arrangements for an elaborate reception. “Nora,” she said to her veteran servant, “for the first half-hour I want you to stand at the drawing-room door and call the guests’ names as they arrive.”

    Nora’s face lit up. “Thank you, ma’am,” she replied. “I’ve been wanting to do that to some of your friends for the last 20 years.”
     
    #330
    DMD, Jul 14, 2022
    Brucebones, rovertiger, Ron Burguvdy and 1 other person like this.

  11. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #331
    DMD, Jul 15, 2022
    John Ex Aberdeen now E.R., rovertiger, TwoWrights and 1 other person like this.
  12. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

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    What does a fish say when it swims into a wall?

    DAMN

    I'll get my coat. :headbang:
     
    #332
    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger, Jul 15, 2022
    Howden Tigress and Gone For A Walk like this.
  13. Ullofaman

    Ullofaman Well-Known Member

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    Excitement was mounting at the DUDS (Depressed Unskilled Down-and-outs Society) monthly meeting.
    The invited "yes-you-can" guest motivational speaker began his presentation.
    Hi everyone, my name is Marcus Forss and I am a Professional Footballer.
     
    #333
    Ullofaman, Jul 15, 2022
  14. rovertiger

    rovertiger Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #334
    rovertiger, Jul 15, 2022
  15. Duke Silver

    Duke Silver Well-Known Member

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    A man goes into his doctors and says he can't pronounce his T's, his F's and H's.

    The doctor says " You can't say fairer than that!"



    What's square and hairy?

    Pubics Cube
     
    #335
    Duke Silver, Jul 15, 2022
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