Off Topic “...and he/she turned around and said...”

[Nig]

Or sweat like a pig? Pigs don't sweat

The fat ones do when they're chasing criminals.

 

[Nig]

A popular one amongst those from the White Rose County used to be 'Well, I'll go to our house'.

Inevitably they used the expression while in the Pub and had not the slightest intention of leaving said establishment till closing time.

Go to the foot of our stairs.

 

[Nig]

Morning Rodge

 

[Makemstine Roger]

morning im just off to kip

 

[Makemstine Roger]

time to rest the japs eye he's been busy the neet

 

[Makemstine Roger]

mind some of Bobby Thompsons sayings are classic

 

[Nig]

I like the Welsh ones.
Don't come down the ladder Dai, I've taken it away.

Who's coat is that Jacket ?

 

[Makemstine Roger]

wife Bobby will yer fix me shopping bag the handles broke

why the naars i cannut de that as nee technician

 

[Makemstine Roger]

anyway mate im off goodnight no playing with little tadger

 

[Nig]

anyway mate im off goodnight no playing with little tadger

In work ffs.
Night mate

 

[Nordic]

Jumping in the shower is a recipe for disaster.

Jumping on a call is equally daft.

Up a height
Tickled pink
Daft as a brush
Would you fancy that

you what?

 

[Makemstine Roger]

thick as a plank
a tanner short of a shilling
a fish lot
put your cossy on

 

[Evil Jimmy Krankie]

The fat ones do when they're chasing criminals.

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[Smug in Boots]

"He just can't stop scoring goals."

 

[RokerStoker]

Keep thee feet still Geordie Hinney, let's be happy through the neet
Cos wa haven't been se happy through the day
So give us that bit confort, keep thee feet still Geordie lad
And divvent drive me bonny dreams away.

 

[Mav3rick]

She turned around and said "does my bum look big in this" ?
And her husband replied, "it looks huge in anything".

Then ends up being the ex husband and in hospital with broken bones!

 

[Essayyeffcee]

"He just can't stop scoring goals."

"It was easier to score" when he's missed a sitter! Surely if it was easier he would've done

 

[Nig]

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I was awaiting your response

 

[Guinness Guzzler]

One that I saw today in the bit about about KLD (was it the telegraph?) "it's always darkest just before the dawn". Apparently it isn't. There's numerous factors that affect when it's darkest but, generally, it's considered that the middle of the night is the darkest, not just before dawn

 

[Essayyeffcee]

How about when you were a kid and you were trying to get your parents to buy you a new bike - "Bike? BIKE???" (voice always went up for some reason!) ""I'll give you bike!" which is exactly what I wanted - never did go to pick one out to buy though!