Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different
- Thread starter Dr.Stanley O'Google, HCFC
- Start date
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Valentino Rossi's lucky day. I will see if i can find a video.
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I watched it live on BT - they replayed it 5/6 times from all angles; I've never seen a near miss like it. Vale''s God was smiling on him today - "not your day to die, my son".
This happened in the previous Moto 2 race - another incident with potential for serious injury;
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That's as maybe, but it's still nothing to be sneezed at.
A woman was at her hairdressers getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking BA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"BA?" exclaimed the hairdresser.. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Good luck on this lousy trip of yours, you're going to need it... "
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of BA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a £5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I bet you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me"
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
He said: "Who the **** did your hair?"
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking BA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"BA?" exclaimed the hairdresser.. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Good luck on this lousy trip of yours, you're going to need it... "
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of BA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a £5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I bet you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me"
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
He said: "Who the **** did your hair?"
10 minutes left of the game, down 2-0
Assistant manager: Grant, mate, maybe we should try to change something, go more attacking or something?
McCanns thought.....
Assistant manager: Grant, mate, maybe we should try to change something, go more attacking or something?
McCanns thought.....
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Paul Ince on BT Sport, talking about the idea of Silva getting a statue at the Etihad - 'I don't see a statue of Henry or Bergkamp outside the Arsenal'.
Not sure who he thinks these two are...
Not sure who he thinks these two are...
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Don't be too hard on Ince afterall he is a complete ****er.
An ex-Man United player having a dig at their City rivals just happens to leave out a couple of crucial words (see correction above). He's daft, but not that daft.
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My wife said, "Can you give me a hand with this zip."
I went over and started trying to pull it up, "It's no good," I replied. "It's going to break if I keep trying." She said, "What am I going to do?"
I said, "You'll have to sleep outside the tent you fat bitch
I went over and started trying to pull it up, "It's no good," I replied. "It's going to break if I keep trying." She said, "What am I going to do?"
I said, "You'll have to sleep outside the tent you fat bitch