What a selective memory you have. The first nine months were wasted by the leadership election and then the most stupid election campaign ever fought. Throughout that and the next year or so she blustered and threatened while David Davies played the fool. The only reason she said a deal would be easy was because all you Brexiteers thought it would be. You overestimated the importance of the UK to the rest of Europe. You must also be a remarkably good lip reader or have very acute hearing to have heard the EU leadership say under its breath 'but we'll make you pay for it'. They didn't. They said we must agree the debt first for the remainder of the 2 year period and unpaid past benefits received which had not been fully paid for. that was something which in principle nobody could disagree with especially as at that stage we said that it was a hallmark of British behaviour to pay its debts. That was correct but now it seems all Brexiteers say that should not have been said ever. May and others did temper that with various threats not to pay over a penny and to review the status of all EU nationals working lawfully in this country. How can you forget that disgraceful posturing?
It was part of the cloud cuckoo land Brexiteers live in to even think that they would agree to a trade deal first with a departing member company which has uttered threats from day one after the Referendum. If they had done so they would have been criticised for surrendering to UK threats and demands and as you have said the EU has history of negotiating deals down to the last minute. Even more madness which none of you could see that if was all that easy and rosy to forge new trade deals, so much time should not have been wasted arguing over the size of the bill - after all we all knew there would be a bill to be paid and presumably someone in Whitehall had records which could be looked at in good time. As I understand it £39 billion was a reasonable price agreed with considerable concessions being made on both sides - the sort of compromise you and I are both accustomed to negotiating for our respective clients.
It's very easy now for you all to heap the blame on to May when the whole Brexit camp was guilty of the same lack of preparation, over-confidence,negligence and bungling. It wasn't until the Chequers meeting that May finally had enough and forced everyone to give up their mobile phones and recording equipment before she started the meeting and got them all to agree with her proposals. What an incredible lack of balls and fighting spirit was shown then. Nobody walked out or left. They all signed up and waited a while to ponder their conscience before doing anything.
Nobody challenged her but all sniped away insidiously. eventually when JRM eventually called for a leadership contest neither nor any of the other leaders put themselves forward and he could only muster a measly 23 votes. Pathetic. Meanwhile the clock kept ticking. And throughout all this time, the UK had ignored the Irish question - something which Barnier had stated at the very outset to be one of the three big issues to be resolved.
So in summary, yes I agree May has been a disaster.
But the blame falls equally on the shoulders of the Brexit leadership for lack of leadership, statesmanship and lack of a more sensible strategy from the outset. She has
steered the UK straight at the iceberg because she has been listening to conflicting and ill-thought out advice and tactics from her Brexit war commanders. The rudders were not broken. She was paralysed for so long in taking effective action by the ineptitude of those around her and only telling her what to do through interviews with tame journalists - the sort who put up pictures of judges and opponents with their addresses and labels of traitor. Nice. Civilized. None of the patriots in the Tory leadership tried to wrest control of the steering wheel from her until we were too close to the iceberg.
Finally on a lighter note, there is an easy way out of this impasse. **** the DUP . They've had their money and have failed to give the support they promised to the government to govern. Tear up the deal. Reinstate the backstop in full and then agree the trade deal within the implementation period. There are vast untold riches waiting for British entrepeneurs to plunder with the rest of the World while continuing to drive their BMWs, stocking their Bosch fridge freezers and continuing to gorge on foie gras , snails and haute French cuisine. So what are you waiting for? Get on with it.