Let's take all of those in turn:-
No hot pussy - how do you know? Apart from the fact that the entire "hot pussy" was clearly a piss-take (which everyone will now appreciate bearing in mind the types of gigs that my band plays), how do you know who attends our gigs? What about the festivals we've played? Don't you think there would have been at least a couple of decent ladies?
No supermodel wife - she's a super model to me
I didn’t kek my pants - yes, yes you did
No £80k merc - I have never paid £80k for a car, even for the supercars that I have owned. I said that a number of times. Trust me, you don't know what at I currently drive.
No coastal mansion - not a mansion (that was hyperbole), but how do you know what property I or my wife own?
No helicopters - you were the one who said I flew a helicopter, not me. This was yet more exaggeration from you, after I said that I had taken a helicopter trip over the Grand Canyon. I do have a friend who has two helicopters and I borrowed his persona for all that "whirly bird" **** when engaging in that particular banter
No bareknuckle boxing - again, hyperbole from you, after I told you that I had boxed as a schoolboy
No hot shot lawyer - really? define "hot shot"
No pro referee
No lavish offices - I never said I was a pro. But you did discover that I ref'ed, didn't you, Chuckles?
And on it went - University? Marathons I ran? Famous people I know? These are the things that really cut you.
The fact is, Pix, that you have had a massive chip on your shoulder about me since the very start of this site. I have ripped into Arsenal and Wenger since those early days, using wit and charm, and his has grated on your tits. You have done just about everything you can to try to get back at me. Because you cannot beat me using wit, you have resorted to cheap and nasty personal attacks and insults.
And even in that you have ****ed up.