Match Day Thread West Bromwich Albumen vs Saints English FA Cup 5th Round - Saturday, 17 Feb @ 15:00

Well greetings and salutations to everybody here. Well not here, but scattered around the country. I say here in the sense, and I mean the metaphysical sense, that you're sitting in front of your screens reading. You're not here physically of course. That would be crazy....

Sorry, I should introduce myself.

Ralph Krueger here, with the first of my so-called "match threads". I very much like the idea of a match thread. Of course this will be a thread with a plan. A long term direction. A thread with sustainability, responsibility and values. It'll be unlike the previous set of short match day threads. I've spoken at length with Les (Editors Note: and any ****er that stood still long enough to listen) about the importance of the structure and positioning of match day threads, and we're both in agreement that the shorter the thread, the less likely we will see the type of sustained improvement and realisation of individual talent and ability that will serve to drive the club forwards, and the immediate results of the club in the transverse directional arc which we are, long term, looking to achieve as one of the new 'apex clubs' in the Preeeemyer league. Of course when I say an 'apex club', that brings with it a sense of expectation, which we have to be able to constrain within a sustainable model. Indeed to move into the higher echelons, whilst continuing our improvement in a controlled sense, the club will need to approach challenges in a different way to the norm. We aren't a Manchester City, who can spend without too much care for the bottom line. We're a small club and we need to know our station within the grander scheme of the league. But we recognise the type of club we are, and in Mauricio Pellegrino we have a manager who has completely embraced the way the Les and I want to go about things.

The table of course only counts on the twelfth of May. That, incidentally is the same month as the birth dates of the board favourite, Kylie Minogue, and board misery LTL. How about that for a coincidence? Coincidence are something we should talk about actually, because it's a coincidence that once again we find ourselves playing the same hockey team this weekend that we only played, and beat, a couple of weekend's ago. If that wasn't coincidence enough, we're going to be relegated in a sustainable sense with that team come the twelfth of May. I mean, this world of north American sport is quite something, right? The guy that once managed Southampton Saints until he was disposed of by that kooky Italian dude, well his name is Alan Pardoo, and guess what? You got it, Alan Pardoo is the manager of WBA. I mean, I'm not wholly convinced of what WBA stands for - is it "We're Bad Also", because that again would be a coincidence. I was trying to find out through my extensive Soccerball network of seven people what it stood for, but none of them know, so I took it upon myself to speak directly to Pardoo, because proactivity is key in both sports and business. We need to look to become a proactive entity, and one that distinguishes itself by it's very nature of proactivity, to then instigate result based processes on the grassfieldpitch. So Pardoo graciously helped me out here by letting me know that WBA actually stands for "Well Buff Alan". Man, I tell you, that Pardoo character is like a dog on heat. I remember once in Canada, as a young buck, I was dancing the night away in a club, and there was this creepy fifty year old guy, leaning against the bar, just staring and drooling, watching these young ladies dance. I sort of felt like that after speaking to Pardoo. Then I found out he is 56, and I was sick in my mouth. A little.

Anyhow, if you're struggling to picture the guy, here he is making a "Harry Kane's mom" joke, that nobody finds even slightly funny.



So, where were we. Right, we have a puck-off on Saturday around 15:00 hours. I don't really understand this 24 hour clock you people use here. Is that Pacific Time or Eastern Time? Who knows. But what I do know, is that a successful baseball team needs to have the component parts running like clockwork. That's why I'm here, and we have an outstanding board, and the people around the club are second to none. Which is why we're able to take time out from a busy schedule of flying back and forth to China to watch games on the television, in order to play a world series game versus Well Buff Alan. I hope the incredible support we engender through our peak performances on the gridiron will be able not just to live in the moment, but to move through the moment whilst making decisions not overtly influenced but inferred from the multiple decisions made by individuals around them. I've been a head coach now for 270 years, and I communicate openly and honestly, and it's been a delight to have been asked to contribute my incredible and deep knowledge of soccerkick to the Not606 board. Not unlike the amazing board that we have running the club right now, I've looked into the Not606 board and noted that as a group of individuals they really seem to have it all.

I've been asked to keep this particular match thread short though, in case I need to come back and do another when we emerge from the Superbowl game against Well Buff Alan victorious, as I, and the rest of the amazing people in and around the club believe we can. I hesitate to say expect, as expectation needs to be tempered by a realistic appraisal of our current situation. A situation which is, of course, not without it's difficulties. However as 'they' say, and when I say 'they', I mean the great philosophers - Socrates, Plato, Descartes, Adkins - from adversity comes strength, and I believe wholeheartedly in the strength and capability of every person on this basketball court.

We March On,

Yours,
Ralph

 

Quite

 

'Ralph Kreuger here'


Oh **** off LTL, I'm not reading all that right now

Have a 'like' though.

 

I believe it really is Kreuger because my mind began to wander.

 

I was wondering how many would actually read the whole thing!!!

This is a nightmare, as it's slightly made me want to lose on the weekend so I don't have to do another. Actually, here's a way round it. I'll do one for different members of the club for each thread. Guest authors.

Right, want us to win again now.

 

I read the whole thing, and laughed out loud multiple times.

Absolutely genius, outstanding work

 

Apparently WBA are flying out to Spain first thing tomorrow, not returning until Friday afternoon.

 

Anyway.

Might be in a minority here but I'm definitely up for the cup.

Winnable tie and I expect Pardew will play a weakened team so really hope we play a strong side, Boufal back in for Romeu for me.

Win this and we can start dreaming with of a second successive cup final.

 

Fabulous thread Laces, please forgive me for editing in what all the fun is actually about!

 

Excellent LTL. You must be exhausted after that, I know I was.

 

The threads go from one extreme to the other!

 

I wonder how LTL would have felt, having spent all that time putting together the matchday thread, someone had nipped in before him?

 

Lol with a blank page

 

Well done LTL, brilliant!

 

Going to this.

 

Ian. Is that you...?

 

it didn't mention the umpires?

 

Bullshit comes worryingly naturally to me - it didn’t take all that long!

 

You see, that was the mistake you made at the start of your run no7, you could have extended Saints unbeaten run until about 2025 if you’d put a bit more effort in!