My Christmas eve plan has been thrown slightly askew by the fact the in laws failed to book the table at the pub and it's now full. You've got ONE job. They are ****ing hopeless. They drive me mad, they're late for everything, which to me is ignorant as ****, and just seem to think that everyone will wait for them. The pub isn't taking bookings beyond six and we do know them so we'll probably get in on a walk in basis (about four hours late mind) then but she's offered this as an alternative in case we don't; Turkey and chips. Who the **** wants turkey and chips on Christmas Eve? She can't help herself. If you want to do the Christmas meal, do it. Fine by me. Just don't cook a ****ing turkey on Christmas Eve when we're doing one on Christmas day!
My in laws are great, it's my ****ing parents who are the idiots. They'll come round Christmas morning and sit there politely until they think they've been long enough to politely leave. They won't drink anything they won't eat anything. They suck the life out of the day and we're glad when they leave. We went to an Indian place for my lads 18th the only one to complain about the food was my dad because he ordered a duck vindaloo and usually only eats bog standard stuff, what the **** did he expect?
My own parents come down the day after boxing day usually. Then we pray for decent weather so we can get out of the house for a few hours every day, otherwise my Dad will just drink way too much red wine and fall asleep! It's usually a bearable few days, although there's generally much relief when they go if only that it signals the end of it all and we can relax and enjoy the last few days off. I've got **** all to do this afternoon. I'd light a fire only we're going out later so hardly any point. Off to friend's house later, all three of each of our kids is in each others class, if that makes sense, so they'll all get along and give us a bit of peace hopefully. Currently got Trading Places on. Put it on with perfect timing for money shot No.1, best pair of tits ever seen on film bar none.
Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is our go to Christmas film. We watch it on Christmas Eve. Christmas food shop Is done, wrapping this afternoon but that can be done with beer.
Christmas Is Coming The Goose Is Getting Fat Unless Of Course It's HIAG's He's Such A Fookin' Twat He Bought It From His Butcher It Only Cost A Smidgen The Dozy Twat's Been Duped He's Bought A Fookin' Pigeon xxx
I recorded that last week and they all watched it when I was still at work! Cheers. Another example of my irrelevance at Christmas! Shame your folks aren't good company. My only minor issue is my older brother who, with his wife, 'doesn't do' Christmas. They usually at least have the decency to **** off out of the country but have on more than one occasion chosen to have all the day on their own, leaving my parents to do likewise while literally round the corner. I don't exaggerate, my brother lives a 20 second walk from the house we grew up in. Why the miserable pair can't have my folks and her dad over is beyond me, or maybe at least go round to theirs. The onus then lies with me to give my parents a Christmas of sorts. From 200 miles away. This in turn gives me the guilt trip for not having them down on the actual day. Family politics eh?
To give your question the respect of an honest answer, they are completely inflexible. Everything has to be on their terms and anything that isn't is a major problem that they project onto the rest of the family. Most of the family tolerate and indulge it. I, by and large, don't and neither does Mrs Stan. It's caused all sorts of **** for us over the years. We've got two family gatherings this week, both of which will be ****. Fortunately we aren't seeing them on Christmas Day.
My brother is also a dick, he expects me to always visit him and is like my parents when he comes here, we're a really fun family always up for a drink or a night out but my brother comes around and just sits there and can't wait to leave. We have a great time as a family though and that's what matters.
This pig leg is awesome. How can you not like pigs? Pop a burka on them, then marry them. No one will notice. @Spurlock @highburyal
The next four days are going to be daft so I'm going to take my hangover for a run now and then just give in to the inevitable.
Went to a party at one of the neighbours' last night. The fat bird from number 20 something was pissed as usual. I've never seen her sober. She looks like hell. Her husband works away a lot.
Got to go to town shopping ffs! Attempted to go on Tuesday but ****ed it right up by going for a pint (or 6) and having a joint in the bowling alley car park. Came home with some freshly made fudge, but ate it that night. ****ing dreading today now! Feel like **** too, was up drinking till 3 this morning. Luckily (in a weird way) I don't have family to accommodate over Christmas other than the Mrs and kids.
I've got to venture in to town also. Never believe a bird when they say they don't want anything for Christmas and want to save money into the wedding fund. So I'm off to frantically buy and old **** without any thought.
