When stupidity attacks...

[overseasTOON]

As some of you know; I went skiing this weekend so I couldn’t make my usual trek to Craven Cottage.

We got into Chamonix about 8am and as soon as the car was parked and unpacked, my mate and I raced off to the nearest ski lift because we were ‘very’ experienced skiers whilst our other halves and kids went to the ski school to learn.

Sure, it had been getting close to a decade since we’d last hit the pistes but skiing is like riding a bike. You just never forget.

The chair lift dropped us half way up the mountain and we both agreed to go higher for the more challenging routes.

We found the button lift and queued up. We were grinning like loons and couldn’t wait to get going.

I got on the button lift with my mate just behind me. I’d forgotten how tricky these things can be and fell off after about 40 feet. I twisted my ankle and then my mate skied over my neck, fell off as well and ended up rolling 20 feet down a ditch… now he’s concussed with a large lump on his forehead.

So that ended our skiing trip. Twenty five minutes in total without actually managing to get on a run.

Seeking consolation (after seeing a doctor) whilst our better halves and kin were enjoying themselves on the pistes, we hit a bar. The bar owner agreed to allow us to watch the matches on Saturday, seeing that our skiing adventure ended in abject failure, we were looking forward to at least watching our respective teams. My mate is a Liverpool fan…

What a crap weekend it turned out to be for both of us. I’m hobbling along on a crutch with a neck too sore to move, he has a bandage wrapped round his head a la Terry Butcher (without blood but it is somehow stained with remnants of random shots he managed to miss his mouth with). Drunk, despondent and disabled we headed back to the chalet to be regaled with stories of skiing fun… I’ve never wanted to call my wife a bitch so much!

On the plus side, they now love skiing and want to go again next year and I’ve agreed to go to the ski school next time because I’ve blatantly forgotten how to ski.

So, I’ve learnt a lesson in life. I’m not that young anymore and stupidity hurts.

 

[Pipe4Life]

As some of you know; I went skiing this weekend so I couldn’t make my usual trek to Craven Cottage.

We got into Chamonix about 8am and as soon as the car was parked and unpacked, my mate and I raced off to the nearest ski lift because we were ‘very’ experienced skiers whilst our other halves and kids went to the ski school to learn.

Sure, it had been getting close to a decade since we’d last hit the pistes but skiing is like riding a bike. You just never forget.

The chair lift dropped us half way up the mountain and we both agreed to go higher for the more challenging routes.

We found the button lift and queued up. We were grinning like loons and couldn’t wait to get going.

I got on the button lift with my mate just behind me. I’d forgotten how tricky these things can be and fell off after about 40 feet. I twisted my ankle and then my mate skied over my neck, fell off as well and ended up rolling 20 feet down a ditch… now he’s concussed with a large lump on his forehead.

So that ended our skiing trip. Twenty five minutes in total without actually managing to get on a run.

Seeking consolation (after seeing a doctor) whilst our better halves and kin were enjoying themselves on the pistes, we hit a bar. The bar owner agreed to allow us to watch the matches on Saturday, seeing that our skiing adventure ended in abject failure, we were looking forward to at least watching our respective teams. My mate is a Liverpool fan…

What a crap weekend it turned out to be for both of us. I’m hobbling along on a crutch with a neck too sore to move, he has a bandage wrapped round his head a la Terry Butcher (without blood but it is somehow stained with remnants of random shots he managed to miss his mouth with). Drunk, despondent and disabled we headed back to the chalet to be regaled with stories of skiing fun… I’ve never wanted to call my wife a bitch so much!

On the plus side, they now love skiing and want to go again next year and I’ve agreed to go to the ski school next time because I’ve blatantly forgotten how to ski.

So, I’ve learnt a lesson in life. I’m not that young anymore and stupidity hurts.

Dear me. For whqt its worth OT i did something similar a few years back. I wavered my opportunity to join my friend getting a few lessons as i had been skiiing 'loads of times' It went very badly after about a minute of gathering speed (an eternity on snow) and went piling into a huge lift support one of my ski poles went right through the padded guard wrapped round it and came out the other side. a sprained ankle later saw me spend the next day with ice and painkillers. managed to get on it a couple of days later doesed up to the eyeballs but then wen on something a bit more 'my level' afterwards.

thank fully ive been skiing again since and i was back to being awesome in no time. although i must admit i started a little slower that time around.

 

[Cal.]

This is karma in effect for a distinct lack of baking.

 

[Munstertoon]

Sorry to hear of your misfortune.

However, every cloud has a silver. Your thread made me smile, for the first time since about five past four on Saturday afternoon!!

 

[P.T.N]

As some of you know; I went skiing this weekend so I couldn’t make my usual trek to Craven Cottage.

We got into Chamonix about 8am and as soon as the car was parked and unpacked, my mate and I raced off to the nearest ski lift because we were ‘very’ experienced skiers whilst our other halves and kids went to the ski school to learn.

Sure, it had been getting close to a decade since we’d last hit the pistes but skiing is like riding a bike. You just never forget.

The chair lift dropped us half way up the mountain and we both agreed to go higher for the more challenging routes.

We found the button lift and queued up. We were grinning like loons and couldn’t wait to get going.

I got on the button lift with my mate just behind me. I’d forgotten how tricky these things can be and fell off after about 40 feet. I twisted my ankle and then my mate skied over my neck, fell off as well and ended up rolling 20 feet down a ditch… now he’s concussed with a large lump on his forehead.

So that ended our skiing trip. Twenty five minutes in total without actually managing to get on a run.

Seeking consolation (after seeing a doctor) whilst our better halves and kin were enjoying themselves on the pistes, we hit a bar. The bar owner agreed to allow us to watch the matches on Saturday, seeing that our skiing adventure ended in abject failure, we were looking forward to at least watching our respective teams. My mate is a Liverpool fan…

What a crap weekend it turned out to be for both of us. I’m hobbling along on a crutch with a neck too sore to move, he has a bandage wrapped round his head a la Terry Butcher (without blood but it is somehow stained with remnants of random shots he managed to miss his mouth with). Drunk, despondent and disabled we headed back to the chalet to be regaled with stories of skiing fun… I’ve never wanted to call my wife a bitch so much!

On the plus side, they now love skiing and want to go again next year and I’ve agreed to go to the ski school next time because I’ve blatantly forgotten how to ski.

So, I’ve learnt a lesson in life. I’m not that young anymore and stupidity hurts.

Sorry to hear about the weekend OT. Least, you managed to get drunk, in what I imagine was stunning scenery? Reminds me of my first time skiing in Castleford, on a schhool trip with school. It was an experience I will never forget to say the least.

Even more embarrasing as it was in front of my entire form!

 

[overseasTOON]

This is karma in effect for a distinct lack of baking.

Baking is on hold for January and most likely the first half of Feb. The entire household has been on a ‘wife enforced’ diet

Sorry to hear of your misfortune.

However, every cloud has a silver. Your thread made me smile, for the first time since about five past four on Saturday afternoon!!

I was bought numerous commiseration shots in the second half by lots of people in the bar. Has to have been the worst performance I've seen from us in ages.

I then ended up buying commiseration shots for most of the Liverpool game.

We we're doubly hammered drinking at altitude.

 

[Agent Bruce]

What a crap weekend it turned out to be for both of us. I’m hobbling along on a crutch with a neck too sore to move, he has a bandage wrapped round his head a la Terry Butcher (without blood but it is somehow stained with remnants of random shots he managed to miss his mouth with). Drunk, despondent and disabled we headed back to the chalet to be regaled with stories of skiing fun… I’ve never wanted to call my wife a bitch so much!
____________________________________________________________________________

Could have been worse oT, you could have been at Craven Cottage.

 

[Pipe4Life]

Baking is on hold for January and most likely the first half of Feb. The entire household has been on a ‘wife enforced’ diet



I was bought numerous commiseration shots in the second half by lots of people in the bar. Has to have been the worst performance I've seen from us in ages.

I then ended up buying commiseration shots for most of the Liverpool game.

We we're doubly hammered drinking at altitude.

I can say with the utmost certainty that i endured the single worst hangover of my life when bladdered in the Alps the altitude is a total killer. you don't realise until its too late.

 

[overseasTOON]

I can say with the utmost certainty that i endured the single worst hangover of my life when bladdered in the Alps the altitude is a total killer. you don't realise until its too late.

Sunday was very much a recovery day but it's hard to feel better when you're stuck in the back of a car with another person badly hungover and a couple of kids who are bored.

 

[Kentish Toon]

Well this thread made me smile....must say though I always found fresh mountain air (and vomiting of a chair lift) the best way in which to break out of a hangover!

 

[Pipe4Life]

Sunday was very much a recovery day but it's hard to feel better when you're stuck in the back of a car with another person badly hungover and a couple of kids who are bored.

i bet you wish you were concussed as well so that you can't remember how horrible the journey was?

I shudder when i remeber just how ill i was shaking like a poisoned dog and wretching so hard my entire stomach came out of my nose. it was graphic. real graphic.

 

[holystone]

An old ski instructor told me you need two days lessons if you don't ski every year.......simply for confidence and technique.

I once went skiing with a bunch of mates who were slalom standard..........very scary.

 

[MF SHAK]

Only time ive been skiing was at school. got stuck on a ski lift and almost fell off , then thought i could jump over a slope and almost broke my regs and had to get some prosthretic rimbs.

they made the person who did the stupidest thing the day before ski the next day in this stupid multi coloured hat. that was me, obviously.

 

[thedeludedfannymagnet]

A tough weekend that one!

Mine was ruined a bit but not on that scale, I 'had' to attend a rehearsal of my daughters dance/stage show at 3 on Saturday afternoon. (Obviously arranged by the wimmen) Earpiece in from the mobile and a fixed stare for 43 minutes then a big grin and a nudge to my lad, 1 nil i mouthed with a thumbs up! Guthrie! Big grins all round and a scowl from our lass.
30 minutes later and it was game over, people asking questions which went in one ear and out the other, they now think i,m some sort of halfwit father who's partially deaf, can't understand english and sports a constant fixed frown and red face

Dance teachers were fit tho

 

[Ba's Strawberry Syrup]

.

 

[Samuel L Ameobi]

Ouch, never been skiing. Far too much of a pansy to do anything that propells me down a slope with only myself to stop me. I much prefer the teacups, or bumper cars for thrills

 

[The Armband]

How's the snow down there anyways? Was thinking of hitting up the Ballon d'Alsace near me last weekend until it began to warm up.

Will probably just wait until it actually starts snowing where I live, then I'll go (assuming there'll be twice as much in the mountains..).

 

[overseasTOON]

How's the snow down there anyways? Was thinking of hitting up the Ballon d'Alsace near me last weekend until it began to warm up.

Will probably just wait until it actually starts snowing where I live, then I'll go (assuming there'll be twice as much in the mountains..).

The snow conditions were perfect from all accounts we heard.

Deep snow off piste and the runs were nice and hard but with very little ice.

 

[MF SHAK]

i piste out my b'alsace kid

 

[The Armband]

The snow conditions were perfect from all accounts we heard.

Deep snow off piste and the runs were nice and hard but with very little ice.

Sounds good. I haven't been in years, which is a shame because my dad and I used to go every year around February time, so the dust will have to remain on the ski boots for another week or two!

i piste out my b'alsace kid

LOL.


PS, 1000th post. wooooop!