Off Topic what else should we try to ban

Being invited to a day long work meeting with this provision and a reminder:-

Hi Everyone, We would like to do a gift exchange at this meeting to bring a little bit of the holiday cheer to our function.

The gift should be $10 or less and gender neutral as much as possible. Here are a few suggestions (Gift cards, something for your desk, Stress ball, Puzzle game, a fancy mug or even something homemade)
We have an activity planned to distribute the gifts that should be fun.
Participation is not mandatory but very much encouraged.
See you all there J

Good Morning everyone,
Just a remind to bring a wrapped gift tomorrow.

Annual Branch Meeting
I am pleased to invite you to our first Annual Branch Meeting.
This will be a great opportunity:

• Meet your colleagues in person
• To provide employees with important information/training
• Lunch will be provided

Please note: Employee attendance is Mandatory

 

i hope you did something homemade

 

This quality homemade reindeer would've been under $10 - unless it was made from a decent bottle of vino

 

This should cover all three of those scenarios........

 

Take a sickie.

 

Thanks for the ideas guys, will probably take a pass, although my talented artist daughter could have easily knocked up another one of these, possibly of the new the crest - now that would been a conversation piece for the lucky recipient!

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We have banned the nurturing environment in my house.

Daughter has just had her school report (why they bother with 6 months until A level I don’t know).
Verbatim exchange from 5 minutes ago:

Wife ‘Hey, your report’s really good!’
Daughter, blasé, yelling from her room ‘yeah, I know’
Wife ‘Well **** off then, you cocky cow’

No resting on laurels round here.

 

****in Norovirus - spent the weekend cleaning up after Mrs and Jnr, and struck down with it now deep joy

 

when you've finished Djing and the lights in room are switched on. Twenty minutes have past, the hotel staff have taken chair covers of and clearing tables and the drunk comes in the room and says one more song mate before giving you verbals when you say no.
Alcohol guaranteed to make you look stupid when you've had one too many....

 

sorry - should be banning idiots that cannot handle their alcohol!!

 

I agree, although after a few drinks after work in the city I fell asleep on the tube on the way home once. Went straight past East Acton and was woken by the driver at West Ruislip. It was the last train, had to hitch-hike home.

 

Durbar - may I suggest that far from the alcohol being responsible for you falling asleep, it is all the hard work that you do during the day that tires you out

 

Cheese advent calendars. It should be chocolate all the time!!

 

There's a few on here would disagree with you on that Ninj

 

maybe - but I have a cheese allergy........so my reasons can be justified!!!

 

There was a gin one this year which was more like it.

 

I did the same thing after a piss up in London, only difference is..............................I ended up in Peterborough!!

 

I've woken up at the end of most tube lines. The worst was getting on the Central line at Notting Hill, heading for Ruislip, and waking up in Loughton. I hadn't got on the wrong train, I'd slept as far as West Ruislip and then all the way back across London to Essex. Of course by then it was the last train and I wound having a very expensive cab ride home. It would have been cheaper to get a B&B in Loughton, but that would have been too tough to explain away.

 

Let me join Uber in pedants’ corner for a bit (and hope I got the apostrophe right).

People should be banned from using the phrase ‘I’ll have a panini please’ because you can’t have one panini. That would be a panino. You can have two or more panini with my best wishes. Many of the people who own and serve in the fake coffee places that serve these overpriced and pale imitations of the Italian sandwich like snack are equally ignorant, as their signage demonstrates.

So once retired, I plan to kill two birds with one stone and take part time jobs in multiple Costa/Nero/Starbucks like places, and whenever I am asked for ‘a panini’ will take one of three courses:
- loudly, tediously and bombastically correct the Italian grammar of the customer
- courteously serve 8 panini and charge for them, explaining that I heard ‘panini’ and misheard the ‘a’ for eight
- simply refuse to serve them, shouting that their request doesn’t make sense

Hopefully I can drive a few of these purveyors of scalding milky water out of business with my customer centric approach.

It’s only panini that winds me up, not the similar errors made for espresso (though I’m pretty sure Italians don’t ask for ‘due espressi’ they ask for ‘due cafe espresso’) and cappuccino. Not sure why that is.

 

Ban the word 'ta' as if saying 'thanks' is all that much more effort