what do you DO [completely OT!!]

In English?

 

Yes. It's late and i'm in a foul mood, so play nice.

 

Work on a ship, pull oil rigs around, fix engines and other peoples **** ups. Just about sums it up. Work to live, don't live to work.

 

You all have much more interesting jobs than me..... Bah humbug. At least I can sneak on here from time to time from my desk lol

 

I'd love to win the lottery tomorrow night, that'd solve a couple of problems. I only wish I knew what my dream job was .

 

I'm a Accountant! Boring I know!

Do lots of outsourcing management accounts and strategic advice/ turnaround situations for small owner managed firms

 

please say you're in a band called putrefaction of decadence

and this is your album

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Yes, that is me on the right.

 

I love it like, best course going if you're creatively inclined. I did 3 modules in my final year (which allowed me to dodge the dreaded Dissertation) so covered all the disciplines of prose, poetry and script writing. Had a few poems published and stuff and thought that was the way I would go but based my final project on the North East (even wrote a poem about going to watch Newcastle play) and Belfast is a very 'local' Uni, so didn't go down particularly well...Anyway, got a 1st in my prose stuff so decided/was told to specialise in that for my MA.

The course at Queens (if you're considering doing an MA at all) is amazing! Top class tutors and really interesting projects. I'm in the middle of a research project where you can choose literally ANYTHING to write about, but anything you do has to be backed up by clear and presentable evidence (i.e. Newspaper reports, obituaries, autobiographies etc.). Mine was about Albert Pierrepoint, Britains most prolific hangman. He executed over 600 people including the last woman to be put to death and 200 Nazis at the Nuremberg trials, anyway he also ended up having to execute one of his own mates who he used to perform duets with in his pub calling each other Tish and Tosh (the night the lad, Henry James Corbitt, committed the murder he would later be hanged for, him and Pierrepoint sang Oh Danny Boy together.) So I basically wrote a short story about the execution.

Short stories is the way I go (at least one a week every week) but other people are in the process of writing a novel and so hand in 2000 words/a chapter of it each week instead...

I don't have a particular genre I fit into, I just get random ideas and have a short attention span so they're usually very random. So far I've written about:

- Pierrepoint (obviously)
- The man at The Vienna Academy of Fine Art who rejected a young Hitler's application (basically he was too busy shagging the secretary to give the work any thought and just wrote a note of rejection before going off to get pissed - also, I never actually say Hitler's name, its kinda there to be worked out)
- 3 people who work for the same company but have hidden lives, told by a man sitting in the same cafeteria as them (then at hte end you find out hte man is there for a job interview and everything you've just read was what he made up to pass the time waiting for his interview - a kind of new age 'and then I woke up and realised it was all a dream' ending.
- A graffiti artist who in the end turns out to be an art critic trying to make millions
- My Dad

...So, there is a very long winded way of telling you...I do stories...

 

I'll do my best...What in particular do you lecture in and where?

 

yes my world is complete

 

On the literature front predominantly the Renaissance period and American fiction, however my Masters is in linguistics so I mainly teach language.

I work at the University of Central Lancashire and a few colleges across the North West.

Apologies if I came across as curt, I just thought your original comment was going to be followed by a snide comment about grammar. I'm trying to mark, eat and type at the same time. Tricky stuff.

 

any more stories about cloud monsters or of that ilk

 

Not yet, although I did receive a particularly riveting story in which a couple go on a romantic weekend in a secluded woodland, and get eaten by a house. Instant horror/romance classic.

 

I did a few modules in linguistics (though mine were more centered around languages impact on society through various different mediums) and was baffled when it came to all the more technical side of it. Also did a bit of American Fiction but did my best to avoid Renaissance

 

Join the club!

 

Most people avoid the Renaissance like the plague. It's by no means my favourite but it ties in well with a number of language concepts we explore.

 

i love those books of kids exam answers and others like courtroom humour/The Timewaster Letters and the like great toilet books

 

Some of the stuff I read is frighteningly poor, but it's good for a chuckle.

 

i bet

talking of funny exam answers i found this it might make you chuckle (it's safe for work just large) [NSFW]

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