What are you doing?

Ok, forget the star. Get yourself a life.

 

nah ... Prince William is mind ...

 

Funnily enough, I'm just waiting for the missus get back to look after our nipper so that I can head off to my gig. I play lead guitar in a semi-pro rock band. Over the past 5 years I must have played something like 300-400 gigs, locally, including all our top venues and festivals, most on repeat bookings. We kick off at 10pm and play to around Midnight. Then, I'll probably have a couple of beers with the boys.

What you up to, Chief? Sat in front of the box, scratching your bollocks, again?

 

... you don't get irony ... which is doubly ironic...

 

Oh, the triple-irony!

 

Semi-pro rock band?

Gold!

 

Are these the same boys from this website who get all your jokes? Or are they the lads?

Played golf this morning. Took my eldest to his mates for a sleepover, dug a footing for the front garden wall, am about to make tea for my two youngest then I will indeed have a beer and scratch my bollocks for half an hour. I'll then get them to bed before having a curry, which i made, with her later.

I will coach the U7's in the morning before going to watch my eldest play rugby. I will then take my two boys up the golf club for their coaching before coming home to a chicken dinner with a couple of glasses of vino.

Thanks for asking.

There's not much less cool than an old bloke in a band who should know better. Is there?

 

What you chuckling at, Lightning?

 

Ouch! ... HIAG may have had one considerate owner (me) ...but the rest have been brutal...

 

Do you actually believe that any of the posters on this forum, spread - as they are - across the country, is going to be in my band?

Oh, dear!

Stop right there. A golfing bore! Well, that just about explains everything! I bet your name is Nigel, or Matthew, and I bet you hate being called Nige!

And a piss-head into the bargain!

Old? Cheeky ****er!

Nige, I can very much assure you that me dressed up in my black leather trousers, black leather open-neck shirt, sporting an out-size crucifix with my long hair blow-dried with a rock-frizz, I am very much the essence of cool, mate. The chicks love it.

Or do you think that some twat in plus-fours trying to hit a tiny white ball into a hole with a stick is cooler?

 

I forgot to mention the shades, Nige.

 

In your dreams, Bambi.

 

The shades win it.

 

... hate to disappoint you Blaggins, but you do not feature in my dreams ... indeed the closest you get to trespassing in my mental musings is arguably when I'm admiring the pan filling contents of a spectacularly big dump

 

I bet I feature in your dreams Fossy

 

... only the wet ones ...

 

That's disturbing.,,,.

 

Just had a curry

 

Even having HIAG on ignore still reveals what a bellend he is . Every thread that I go on, I can see people giving him short shrift and taking the piss. I can only imagine the ****e he's coming out with to elicit these responses. I guess it just reinforces the fact that it's not just me who rips him a new one.

 

Elaborate.

Microwave Chicken Korma from Iceland ?

Or a clay baked spiced lamb shank with punjabi spices, fragrant rice and a peshwari naan ?