Off Topic VALENTINES DAY
- Thread starter Howden Tigress
- Start date
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Charles' have it sussed
Libra and my name is Charles
Now I like a woman that's quiet
A woman who carries herself
Like Miss Universe
A woman who would take me in her arms
And she would say, Charles, yeah
And if you fit that description
This is for you especially
Mmm, take my hand
Come with me, baby, to Love Land
Let me show you how sweet it could be
Sharing loving with me, I want you to
Youngest: Dad, what you getting mum for valentines day?
Me: Nowt, we don't do valentines day, she's already living the dream
Y: Well she really wants a heart ring from Pandora
M: Well she's said **** all to me
Y: She has been dropping loads of hints
M: Not to me, and shes got enough Pandora stuff, she's starting to rattle like a ****ing pikey
Y: Dad...she really wants it
M: Sorry, can't anyhow, no time
Y: I'll get it for you, just gimme the cash.
M: FFS
So yeah, got her a romantic pressie. Off to bastard Fareham tonight, so I can spend the day there tomorrow, so she'll wake up and find the card and ring on the table when she gets her lazy arse outa bed.
I will score major smartie points mind.
Way more than the time I jokingly got her a new Vax, which she'd been banging on about wanting.
Women eh? Married over 30 years, 3 daughters, still don't understand the ****ers.
Me: Nowt, we don't do valentines day, she's already living the dream
Y: Well she really wants a heart ring from Pandora
M: Well she's said **** all to me
Y: She has been dropping loads of hints
M: Not to me, and shes got enough Pandora stuff, she's starting to rattle like a ****ing pikey
Y: Dad...she really wants it
M: Sorry, can't anyhow, no time
Y: I'll get it for you, just gimme the cash.
M: FFS
So yeah, got her a romantic pressie. Off to bastard Fareham tonight, so I can spend the day there tomorrow, so she'll wake up and find the card and ring on the table when she gets her lazy arse outa bed.
I will score major smartie points mind.
Way more than the time I jokingly got her a new Vax, which she'd been banging on about wanting.
Women eh? Married over 30 years, 3 daughters, still don't understand the ****ers.
Roll out the old, I don't need a single day to show you how much you mean to me, I do it every day line...then roll out the sleeping bag and get comfy on the couch.
Had to google that, I'm none the wiser.
Is it a complement, an insult, or have I been whooshed.
Being the hopeless romantic I am, I`ve been scouring the streets looking for the ideal present in order to make her smile. Flowers ? Perfume ? Pandora ? sparkly earrings ? evening at her fave restaurant ? ........ nahhhhh, settled on a multi pack of nitrous oxide capsules .... only thing that makes her smile these days ! and even then I suspect its only trapped wind !!!!!
A character in the US sitcom The Big Bang Theory who makes love to his partner once per yearHad to google that, I'm none the wiser.
Is it a complement, an insult, or have I been whooshed.
I'll just roll out the same old card I'ved used for the last 40 odd years just the envelope is new. .
The verse inside is pure poetry and always does the trick.
"You are my peach,
All soft and furry.
Your tits are big,
And your fanny's hairy"
Gets her every time, putty in my hands.
The verse inside is pure poetry and always does the trick.
"You are my peach,
All soft and furry.
Your tits are big,
And your fanny's hairy"
Gets her every time, putty in my hands.
