This isn't worth a new thread, it's barely worth a post but, for some reason, I'm still laughing three days later ...
... but there's also a sad and serious aspect which is such a shame.
There's been a big birthday weekend so I gathered up all the champagne bottles, etc, and put them in the footwell of the van, and front seat, then set off for the bottle bank. As I drive through the village there's cars parked all along the left kerb but enough room to get through. Then a tractor comes flying round the corner towards me so I brake and move over.
There's a big crash so I'm thinking 'Great, insurance claim, my fault, NCB screwed' and pull up at the next gap so I can leave notes on whichever cars I've hit. There's another crash and I realise it's bottles falling out of the bag on the seat! I'm now wound up with mesel, for being stupid, so blow up and start violently punching the steering wheel and screaming 'f*ck f*ck f*ck!
When I snapped out of this rare and unexpected rage I glanced to my left to see a poor kid, about eight years old, staring at me and burst into tears. I pondered the wisdom of leaving the van, taking his hand and explaining that sometimes adults do silly things but that it's actually quite harmless ...
... then I put the van in first gear, floored it and screamed off down the hill leaving him in tears.
F*ck all these child molesting pervert celebrities who've made it so difficult to speak to kids on the street of your village.
