The Sunday Only Thread

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Mods, I'd like to report two piss taking gin filled reprobates, with no feelings whatsoever. They both have stone-cold hearts like concrete, and one even mentioned he wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire. And he's me thinking they are my bestest pals, if a written apology isn't forthcoming by tomorrow night I is a coming for yus

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Dearly Beloved ( Roger )
It has been brought to my attention ( Woops ) that you had been used, abused & and possibly soiled yourself, all because two rotten, no good, useless twat so called members of this fine establishment ( l won’t mention Woops & his friends name ).
By the power invested in me, l hereby recind all vile talk, directed your way and offer 10 million apologies to you Sir.
Woops has offered to by you drinks till you fall.
I’ll come along to count the beverages.
 
Dearly Beloved ( Roger )
It has been brought to my attention ( Woops ) that you had been used, abused & and possibly soiled yourself, all because two rotten, no good, useless twat so called members of this fine establishment ( l won’t mention Woops & his friends name ).
By the power invested in me, l hereby recind all vile talk, directed your way and offer 10 million apologies to you Sir.
Woops has offered to by you drinks till you fall.
I’ll come along to count the beverages.

I refute all allegations; well most of them; as I was under the influence of alcohol at the time. I'm also penny less thanks to the church subscriptions I've been forced to pay to the reverend, so sorry Rog, but no beers on me pal <wah>