The Squad Bashing Thread.

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Varier2

Varier2

Well-Known Member
Forum Moderator
Jan 27, 2011
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Alright, this is where us Chelsea fans can give our views on the Chelsea squad and bash players, all in one place! How cool!

1 Cech 5/10 - Damn this guy isn't convincing anymore. Some world class saves, some flappy hand scary moments.
17 Bosingwa 2/10 - You utter twat.
26 Terry 6/10 - A leader we desperately need in these times.
2 Ivanovic 7.5/10 - Stand out best defender.
3 Cole 4/10 - Looks absolutely past it, and has developed a worrying attitud in recent weeks.
4 Luiz 5/10 - Top class at defending, when he is in the correct position, which is not a common sight.
24 Cahill -/10 - From the United game he should be a down right starter. Why is he not AVB?

8 Lampard 6/10 - Slow but reassuring.
16 Miereles 5/10 - Never liked him, but does his job with some success.
6 Romeu 7/10 - Why has he lost his starting place?
12 Mikel 3/10 - Just so poor.
7 Ramires 8/10 - Love him. Only pace in lifeless midfield.
5 Essien 6/10 - Looks solid.

21 Kalou -/10 - Arguably deserves more playing time than has been sent his way.
15 Malouda 3/10 - My God this is one guy you don't want to see near the pitch.
9 Torres 4/10 - What the hell is this guys problem? Getting worryingly close to cutting losses.
11 Drogba 5/10 - Return will be welcomed with open arms.
10 Mata 9/10 - Best Chelsea player, top 5 for what he does in the world. He is the face of the new Chelsea.
23 Sturridge 6/10 - Got bags of talent but he is a lazy twat.
18 Lukaku 4/10 - Heskey got a face lift. :1980_boogie_down: Nah jokes, looks better than Torres though.

And now, the manager-

Andre Villas-Boas 4/10 - How can he expect to be good when he plays utter tosh like Malouda, and starts Bosingwa ahead of Cahill? How can he not see that we were at our best parking the bus and we shouldn't avoid that? However, despite shocking subs and getting rid of two of our best 30 something players, he has had some cracking games, especially 2nd half QPR, Valencia and Newcastle. I fear however, he is a dead man walking unless things change.

Thoughts?

Edit- Thought I would add next season ideal team-

4-2-3-1

Courtois
Ivanovic (C) - Cahill - Luiz/JT - Signing/Bertrand
Ramires - Romeu
Sturridge - Mata - Signing
Signing
 
Only players I'd keep are Luiz, Cahill, Torres, Ivanovic, Essien, Josh, Bertrand, Lukaku, JT, Mata, Ramires, Romeu and maybe Sturridge but that's it
 
Just edited post with my ideal line up for next season. I mostly agree.
 
Drog, malouda, bosingwa, Ferreira, Lamps, mikel & kalou - should go...


don't care even if we miss out champions league football for one season..
 
Sack em all, sack em all! Terry, Lampard, Drogba, Cole! Cos we are the Chelsea and this season's ****! We are the Chelsea and we don't want 5th <grr> <laugh>
 
Now here's a great way to get rid of frustration . Well done Varier

Cech 4 Train is waiting at the station
Boswinga 2 He's got his seat.
Terry 5 Seen the best of him. Troubles' best friend
Ivanovich 8 Best right back, out of position as central
Cole 4 Can make the train as well
Luiz 7 Better and better.
Cahill ?? Will we ever get to judge ??
Lampard 4 Once that pace goes ..... Seat number 22C is waiting,
Meireles 5 Started to look good, now looking like the rest...ordinary
Romeu 6 Can't remember that far back, is he sick or something ??
Mikel 5 I just like him
Ramires 8 Goes and goes with skill
Essien 5 Now a good squad player.
Kalou 5 Better than given credit for. Scores more often than Torres, even when not playing.
Malouda 2 Seat 23B
Torres 1 Can be the train driver
Drogba 5 Depends which one turns up.
Lukaku, Josh, Bertrand, Hutchinson ??? May have to wait until 2015 to see them play, probably for another club as they never play for ours.
AVB 2 Nice Coat, bad razor, ordinary haircut Not as nice as Joses' coat. Having to pick from players ranging between awful to dreadful . Only has 3 or 4 players who look like they want to play, but usually subs them if we need a goal. Not the sharpest when it comes to team selection, substitutes or tactics. Still learning how to change a game, given up on trying to run the dressing room. Having to deal with a greedy surley clique used to running the show. Must work harder.
 
Mata is stand out No1 at the moment and Bosingwa is our No1 Dummy! In between apart from Branna,Luiz and JT all the rest blow hot and cold. Our problem is AVB does not have full command of the dressing room and the sooner he gets his P45 the better.
 
Seriously have to agree with your ratings Varier2. Cech is starting to become our new cudicini and Id love to see courtios, the other 2 wasters can feck off.
Cole has really started to loose it, he's getting beaten an awful lot and doesnt seem to be bombing down the wings as much as recent seasons - could just be he needs a serious rest.
JT - Again starting to loose his touch and personal life taking over his yet again.
Boswinga, Mikel, Kalou, Malouda seriously need to go.
Lamps - playing out of position to make way for mata but needs to stay as he is a game changer.
Lukaku, hasnt lived upto the hype about him being the new drogba but he is young and needs to go out on loan next season.

I love torres to pieces and I wanted him long before liverpool got their hands on him, he puts in so much effort but just doesnt get the service.


Over the next few games Id like to see


Cech
Iva - Luiz - Cahill - Bertrand
- Essien
Lampard
Sturridge - Mata
Drogba
Torres

I think Drogs and Torres can play together
 
Ooh, Drogba and Torres. That would be like partnering Terry and Anton at the Euros IMO.
 
Lefin said:
Seriously have to agree with your ratings Varier2. Cech is starting to become our new cudicini and Id love to see courtios, the other 2 wasters can feck off.
Cole has really started to loose it, he's getting beaten an awful lot and doesnt seem to be bombing down the wings as much as recent seasons - could just be he needs a serious rest.
JT - Again starting to loose his touch and personal life taking over his yet again.
Boswinga, Mikel, Kalou, Malouda seriously need to go.
Lamps - playing out of position to make way for mata but needs to stay as he is a game changer.
Lukaku, hasnt lived upto the hype about him being the new drogba but he is young and needs to go out on loan next season.

I love torres to pieces and I wanted him long before liverpool got their hands on him, he puts in so much effort but just doesnt get the service.


Over the next few games Id like to see


Cech
Iva - Luiz - Cahill - Bertrand
Ramires - Essien
Lampard
Sturridge - Mata
Drogba
Torres

I think Drogs and Torres can play together
Click to expand...
12 players - you'd probably make fourth if no-one spotted it....
 
Think your ratings are off.

1 Cech 5/10 - Damn this guy isn't convincing anymore. Some world class saves, some flappy hand scary moments.
17 Bosingwa 2/10 - You utter twat.
26 Terry 6/10 - A leader we desperately need in these times.
2 Ivanovic 7.5/10 - Stand out best defender.
3 Cole 4/10 - Looks absolutely past it, and has developed a worrying attitud in recent weeks.
4 Luiz 5/10 - Top class at defending, when he is in the correct position, which is not a common sight.
24 Cahill -/10 - From the United game he should be a down right starter. Why is he not AVB?

8 Lampard 6/10 - Slow but reassuring.
16 Miereles 5/10 - Never liked him, but does his job with some success.
6 Romeu 7/10 - Why has he lost his starting place?
12 Mikel 3/10 - Just so poor.
7 Ramires 8/10 - Love him. Only pace in lifeless midfield.
5 Essien 6/10 - Looks solid.

21 Kalou -/10 - Arguably deserves more playing time than has been sent his way.
15 Malouda 3/10 - My God this is one guy you don't want to see near the pitch.
9 Torres 4/10 - What the hell is this guys problem? Getting worryingly close to cutting losses.
11 Drogba 5/10 - Return will be welcomed with open arms.
10 Mata 9/10 - Best Chelsea player, top 5 for what he does in the world. He is the face of the new Chelsea.
23 Sturridge 6/10 - Got bags of talent but he is a lazy twat.
18 Lukaku 4/10 - Heskey got a face lift. Nah jokes, looks better than Torres though.

1 - Terry has been awesome before his knee injury.. properly solid, and works well with Luiz now (good understanding with each other) your memory sucks. easily a 7.5 + for his on the field performances and the same for the way Luiz plays. I would put Luiz as a 9/10 with Mata. What match you watching? :p and lukaku has always looked very promising, worth more than a 4
 
Other mentions for the squad: -

Josh - ?/10 - played most of pre season and about 2 minutes since then got loaned out.
Bertrand - ?/10 - Second choice left back except when we can move a right back to left back when Ash is out.
Kakuta - ?/10 - Nearly had 2 transfer windows frozen due to our desperation to sign him, never plays, now loaned out.
Pizarro - ?/10 - Looks mustard for the reserves, been on the bench, never gets on even when we need a goal. Malouda does though.
De Bruyne - ?/10 - Signed him...finally...loaned him straight out. Looks like next season on loan too.

I could go on!!
 
Hey hey hey, let's not get offensive. I put Luiz on 5/10 because even though I believe him to be one of our best players, he still has the capability to loose us games. Terry on a 6/10 surely? Great leader and player but he has slowed. Considering our defensive recorded (conceded 8 goals against Arsenal and Man Utd at home!) I don't think they deserve any higher. Lukaku is a 4 harshly I'll admit. We'll see about him.
 
Varier, agreed. Luiz had been ok and one of our best players but not 9/10, he was so bad against Everton and his positional play still frightens me.
 
I suppose ill agree with you varier.... Thing is, the most exciting thing i look forward to at the moment is watching Luiz play!! and hoping Torres is benched over youth.
 
For me, Luiz makes mistakes but always looks like he is trying both in effort and imagination. Yes he makes mistakes but better than the rest of the sideways passing, play safe merchants that are littering the squad at the moment. Likewise Torres, Ramieres and Mata. Players like Malouda and Lamps (as much as I love the guy) can't pass forwards without giving the ball away at the moment.
 
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