May I please put "online job applications" in?
They are the ultimate bane of my existence (/the last few months), as I'm applying for various Graduate training scheme positions and part-time employment til they open. So, you've gone down to the store in person with your CV, smiling politely, looking rather dashing because you've moosed your hair into something fashionably Jedward for once, only to be met with the familiar look of disdain from some spotty 15 year old (whose either the daughter of a manager or you're in France, and she's slept her way to the top), who informs you that "we do not accept CVs for these positions, please check our position availability online"... CURSE YOU GIRL.
Anyway, having raced home and sampled the world wide web's great variety of literature on another topic which wastes about 1-1.1 minutes of your life, you obediently do as Adolf Zitler demanded and go through the website, and sure enough there is a vacancy she didn't tell you about.... Scrolling through and answering a multitude of questions (all of which are answered on my CV which I could have handed in... Only now it's just been used for something else

) until my teeth start chattering and even the Fresher next door have gone to be for ten minutes, it eventually comes to the penultimate screen, where it tells you that you are able to... YEP, YOU GUESSED IT... UPLOAD YOUR CV!!! What is the point of the other questions???
Only the GTS positions are worse, because you have to sit online examinations to prove you are clever enough... Obviously my degree will come in handy as toilet paper if I ever get the job... HSBC are the worst so far though. I had to create a profile with them because "they don't send me information via e-mail, it's too sensitive"... I typed in all my details, set up the account, was registered as an applicant. Next day they e-mail saying "you have a message on your profile"... So I log in, and it says "Hi Matt, welcome to our service"... How exactly is that so sensitive?! I'm pretty sure that even if my e-mail was in heavy flow and not accepting chocolate bribes, the tampax that is my ****-filter isn't super-absorbant enough to prevent that nugget getting through...
Next day I get another e-mail from them "you have a message on your profile"... I log on... It says "You may now complete the online assessments..." MOTHERPLUCKKKKKEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!