Off Topic The Rep Brothel

[Guywanderer]

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
> >
> > One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.
> >
> > Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
> >
> > "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them.
> >
> > Thanks for telling me officer.
> >
> > "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did
> > you?"
> >
> >
> > "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.
> >
> > A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden.
> >
> > It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know.
> >
> > Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?
> >
> > So, now, I stand behind the fence by the
> > knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.
> >
> > Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say,
> >
> > 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.' "
> >
> > "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
> >
> > Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
> >
> > "Not everybody pays."

..

 

[Wooperts_duck]

..

Rep for Guy

 

[kiwiqpr]

wheres the chip shop owner

 

[Agent Bruce]

wheres the chip shop owner

Borrowing £5,000.00?

 

[ristac]

Must Spread.... I will see that in my eyelids tonight when I close my eyes

 

[Agent Bruce]

Must Spread.... I will see that in my eyelids tonight when I close my eyes

Me too.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ristac again.

 

[smhbcfc]

Me too.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ristac again.

Must Spread.... I will see that in my eyelids tonight when I close my eyes

repped

wheres the chip shop owner

 

[smhbcfc]

Me too.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ristac again.

Must Spread.... I will see that in my eyelids tonight when I close my eyes

Rep for Guy

..

rep

repped

Rep to some. Sorry can't rep Obi, I'm good thanks for asking

Rep for Guy

repped

 

[lamby]

repped

Must Spread.... I will see that in my eyelids tonight when I close my eyes

..

repped

 

[Agent Bruce]

repped

Rep returned.

 

[Skylarker]

Repped everyone I could on the last 2 pages until it pt me in jail - will return when granted freedom to carry on. Anyone that Reps in the meantime will be sure to get it returned

 

[Agent Bruce]

Repped everyone I could on the last 2 pages until it pt me in jail - will return when granted freedom to carry on. Anyone that Reps in the meantime will be sure to get it returned

Here's some rep to see you on your way.

 

[Guywanderer]

The year is 2222 and Charlie and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles.
They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.
Charlie asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.
Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.
'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.
The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.'
A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another... Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips.. He's got only a teeny,weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.
'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen..
'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?'
'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough to reach me!'
'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite
impressively long.
'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'
'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways.

As they walked along, Charlie asks, 'Well, was it any good?'
'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was wonderful. How about you?'
'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache ... She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.'

..

 

[LeFevre]

.

 

[Wooperts_duck]

repped

smhbcfc.

Rep for you in return.

 

[Wooperts_duck]

Repped everyone I could on the last 2 pages until it pt me in jail - will return when granted freedom to carry on. Anyone that Reps in the meantime will be sure to get it returned

Repped Skylarker*

 

[Wooperts_duck]

.

Rep for LeFevre - a man of few words........

Mind you, your Rep Power will not register until you have achieved 50 Posts, so get a move on

 

[Busy Being Headhunted]

Rep for LeFevre - a man of few words........

Mind you, your Rep Power will not register until you have achieved 50 Posts, so get a move on

Repped everyone I could on the last 2 pages until it pt me in jail - will return when granted freedom to carry on. Anyone that Reps in the meantime will be sure to get it returned

rep

rep

Me too. Soon able to use my Jedi Force Rep again.

Bloody hell ACS, 92k. You diirrrrrrty old rep whore.

hey ACS, the kettle's boiled

hasn't rained for months here
most of the country suffering from drought
complete water ban started this morning
glad I drink beer and not water

Our racing forum have produced a preview of the major races here

Our All Things Cheltenham thread is here Have a look at this and keep an eye on it right up until the day.

My personal bet of the meeting is My Tent or Yours. For the Gold Cup I would like to see Bobsworth or Sir Des Champs but it's a difficult one.

repped a bunch of ya

Yay have been on lockdown for a while but managed a full ten tonight

rep

 

[Obi Wan]

Managed these few, but then had to spread - sorry, it's been a while.

..

A Scotsman walks into a bank in Glasgow and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to Australia on business
For two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank
Will need some form of security for the loan,
So the canny Scots lad hands over the keys
And documents of new Ferrari parked
On the street in front of the bank.
He produces the Log Book and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept
The car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's Manager and its officers
All enjoy a good laugh at the rough looking Scotsman
For using a £120,000 Ferrari
As collateral against a £5000 loan.
An employee of the bank then
Drives the Ferrari in to the bank's
Underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Scotsman returns,
Repays the £5,000 and the interest,
Which comes to £15.41.
The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
And this transaction has worked out very nicely,
But we are a little puzzled.
While you were away,
We checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
So what puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "£5,000" ?

The Scotsman replies:

"Where else in Glasgow can I park my car
For two weeks for only £15.41
And expect it to be there when I return'"

Rep for Guy

Must Spread.... I will see that in my eyelids tonight when I close my eyes

repped

repped

Repped everyone I could on the last 2 pages until it pt me in jail - will return when granted freedom to carry on. Anyone that Reps in the meantime will be sure to get it returned

Rep for D

More 'Sunday after loss' rep given

 

[kiwiqpr]

How to keep a woman happy.... Priceless!








It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
It doesn't take much !!
A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynaecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organiser
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30 Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36.. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Let her go shopping regularly
47. Be honest
48. Be relatively rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other women
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51.. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes or who she is with

BUT IT IS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT TO:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
* her parents
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HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Leave him alone