Off Topic The Rep Brothel

Old Muldoon, lived alone in the Irish countryside with only his faithful pet dog Benji for company:
Sadly one day his beloved dog died and Muldoon went to the parish priest to tell him and said.
"Faither, my beloved dog and best Benji just passed away. "Could ya' be saying a Mass for the poor creature Faither?"
Sadly shaking his head father Patrick put his hand on Muldoon's shoulder and replied. "I'm afraid not my friend. Sadly the Vatican rules do not allow us, we cannot have church services for an animal. But there are some Baptists down the lane and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll be able to do something for the poor creature."
Muldoon stood up thanked the priest, shook hands and said. "That's a shame Faither to be sure. But thanks fur the suggestion about them Baptists, i'll go an check wi them right away Faither. Do ya think £5,000 wid be enough tae gi tae them fur the service or should I offer some mair?"
Father Patrick exclaimed. "Bejaysus, Sweet Mary Mother of Jesus Muldoon! Why the hell didn't ya tell me the dog was a Catholic?"

 

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hello rog

 

If you need some white flags , let me know oui ?

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8:

 

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Whats the first sign of madness?

Seeing Suggs coming up your drive!......

 

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These are genuine clips from Council Complaint letters :-

1 ) My bush is really overgrown round the front , and my back passage has fungus growing in it ...
2 ) He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore ...
3 ) ... it's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow ...
4 ) I want some repairs done to my cooker , as it has backfired and burnt my knob off ...
5 ) I wish to complain that
my father hurt his ankle very badly , then he put his foot in the large hole in his back passage ...
6 )...And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence ...
7 ) I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof ...
I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off ...
8 ) My lavatory seat is cracked , where do I stand .. ?
9 ) I am writing on behalf of my sink , which is coming away from the wall ...
10 ) Will you please send someone to mend the garden path ...! ?
My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday , and now she is pregnant ...
11 ) I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen ...
12 ) 50% of the walls are damp , 50% have crumbling plaster , and 50% are plain filthy ...
13 ) I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers ...
14 ) The toilet is blocked , and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared ...
15 ) Will you please send a man to look at my water ; it is a funny colour , and not fit to drink ...
16 ) Our lavatory seat is broken in half , and is now in three pieces ...
17 ) I want to complain about the farmer across the road ;
every morning at 6am , his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me ...
18 ) The man next door has a large erection in the back garden , which is unsightly and dangerous ...
19 ) Our kitchen floor is damp ... We have two children and would like a third , so please send someone round to do something about it ...
20 ) I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night ...
21) Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife ...
22 ) I have had the Clerk of Works down on the floor six times , but I still have no satisfaction ...
23 ) This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken , and we can't get BBC2 ...

 

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